Like everyone in the entertainment biz, when I think of Sundance and independent filmmaking, I think of Paris Hilton. It just makes sense. What you’re looking at are Paris’ legs as she arrives at a party in Park City, Utah while attending Sundance. I’m not even sure these things are human. What’s going on with the right knee? Is it trying to box its way out? That’s probably not healthy. Anyway, to be honest, I almost didn’t notice Paris’ mutant legs of the apocalypse. You know, because of the cleverly applied glitter spray. I want to vomit but, at the same time, ooh, sparkles!
Pamela Anderson is offering a $28,000 scholarship to Bay Point Schools for troubled youth in Miami, according to People:
“I have a soft spot for bad boys,” she told the jam-packed ALL-STAR Gala Saturday night in South Beach as she pledged the cash.
I wish Pamela Anderson offered scholarships when I was in school. All they had in my day was free rides to college if you were awesome in math or something. Pfft. Math. That’s for suckers. I want a scholarship from Pam Anderson for something useful. Like touching boobs. Apparently I’m doing it all wrong because I got fired from my last job for touching my co-worker’s chest region. Should I have yelled “Surprise!” when I jumped out from underneath her desk? I felt “Honk honk” was more appropriate for an office setting.
Lindsay Lohan’s last movie before entering rehab I Know Who Killed Me has earned her, not one, but two Razzies nominations today for Worst Actress. Lindsay plays “a small-town girl abducted by a psychopath and an alter-ego, a stripper who’s missing body parts.” Razzies founder John Wilson felt both of Lindsay’s roles deserved their own nomination based on their sucktacularness, according to the Associated Press:
“`I Know Who Killed Me’ is the most fabulously brainless movie since `Showgirls,’” which Razzie voters picked as the worst movie of the 1990s, Wilson said. “By the end of it, you still don’t know what happened. Are they twins or aren’t they? Did she imagine it? Can I please have my hour and 50 minutes back?”
I think the Razzies are discriminating against the heroic and patriotic efforts of strippers missing body parts. They’re out there everyday providing adult entertainment for the working man like myself who sometimes only has a pocket full of change but a belly full of bourbon. Not all of us can afford those high-class truck-stop nudie bars with their fancy strippers that have all their limbs attached. But, sometimes, late at night, I dream about seeing a boob attached to a girl with two legs. One day. One day…
In a bizarre twist to the rumors that Britney Spears and Adnan Ghalib are over, Britney Spears is now denying that she even knows who Adnan is. In the above footage, the paps catch Britney outside the Millennium Dance Studio in Burbank. When asked about Adnan, Britney says “I never met the man before.” She does it all in a British accent and then takes off after saying “I love you, men.” Hats off to the pap who asked Britney “What part of England are you from?” That’s like asking Michael Jackson to his face what part of Neverland he’s from. (Hint: The crazy part.)NOTE: The first part of this video is Britney Spears and Sam Lufti parking her car. The good stuff kicks in at the 2:00 minute mark.
Jennifer Lopez had her baby shower over the weekend on the rooftop of the Gramercy Park Hotel. J-Lo’s unborn children, she’s rumored to be having twins, will be getting lots of insanely expensive gifts for them to poop on, according to NY Daily News:
Lopez and her hubby are dropping at least $40,000 a pop on nurseries at their estates in Bel Air, Calif., Fisher Island, Fla., and Oyster Bay, L.I. The Daily News reported last month that her gift registry at Petit Tresor, an exclusive L.A. boutique, included a Balmoral black carriage for $3,495, a $560 jogging stroller and two $349 cashmere outfits – one with pink stripes and one with blue.
Since Jennifer Lopez’s children will be half-human, half-vampire does that mean they can walk around in the daytime? More importantly, are jogging pants really an acceptable form of clothing with Marc Anthony’s outfit? I mean, sometimes you reach a point where you’re being too classy.
Britney Spears supposedly has a restraining order against Adnan Ghalib. The two were not seen together at all over the weekend and Sam Lufti has been telling paparazzi that Britney took legal action to get rid of Adnan for good. Adnan responded to the rumor on his agency Finalpixx’s blog:
All I can say is that I have not been in contact with Britney since early Friday morning. The reason being, that I have had to attend a family funeral in Santa Barbara. My phone has been off during this time out of respect for my family. I am only now becoming aware of what is being said. I hope to be back home in Los Angeles soon and to be in contact with Miss Spears.
After typing, Adnan Ghalib quickly looked side to side then began stroking his landing strip beard. Across town, a suddenly dazed Britney Spears dropped her parenting book and got off the treadmill. “Must find fishnets,” she said. “Must find fishnets for Master…”
