Archive for February 7th, 2008

Celeb News: Britney Spears’ release: Why, God? WHY?!


Britney Spears’ release from UCLA Medical Center has many people scratching their heads. It turns out that a court-appointed lawyer stepped in and decided that Britney was no longer a danger to herself and others. People reports:

The procedure calls for a hearing at the hospital to find out whether the hold is justified. The rep for the court, called a “hearing referee” – who is usually a lawyer – interviews the patient and doctor to determine if there’s “just cause” for detainment.
“This is when law and medicine collide,” says attorney Terry K. Wasserman, who’s not involved in the Spears matter, “when a lawyer can override a doctor’s opinion.”

Britney Spears’ parents are obviously none-too-thrilled and issued the following statement last night to the media:

“As parents of an adult child in the throes of a mental health crisis, we were extremely disappointed this morning to learn that over the recommendation of her treating psychiatrist, our daughter Britney was released from the hospital that could best care for her and keep her safe.
“We are deeply concerned about our daughter’s safety and vulnerability and we believe her life is presently at risk. There are conservatorship orders in place created to protect our daughter that are being blatantly disregarded. We ask only that the court’s orders be enforced so that a tragedy may be averted.”

My sources tell me that, after releasing the statement, a concerned Lynne and Jamie Spears met with Pentagon officials, The Super Friends and that kid from Home Alone who, sadly, forgot his paint buckets. So much for devising a fully functional crisis response. Kevin, you’re such a disease.**My apologies to anyone whose never watched Home Alone and has no idea what I’m talking about. You also have my sympathy for living what must be a shallow, empty existence. Even if you’re a doctor that saves orphans.

Photos: INFdaily.com

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Celeb News: Christina Aguilera is post-pregnantly hot


Christina Aguilera made her first post-pregnancy appearance at a West Hollywood Best Buy yesterday. Wow, lactation is awesome. Even better she had a C-section. You know what means, fellas. Huh? Yeah? But, no, seriously, what does it mean? I know nothing about the birthing process. All my dad told me was that a stork shows up and steals your wallet and testicles. Which explains why he attacked a pelican with a broken beer bottle during my first trip to the zoo. Fortunately he set me in the tiger pit beforehand. He even gave me a raw steak to play with. Love ya, Pop.

Photos: Bauer-Griffin

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