Archive for February 16th, 2008
Pamela Anderson stripped last night for two sold out performances at the Crazy Horse in Paris. The crowd of over 500 fans paid $300 a pop to get in. Sadly all journalists and photographers were banned. (Sorry, guys!) Pam came on stage in a sheer black body stocking and did her stage bow on the back of a motorcycle. Her performance was an homage to ’50s sex icon Brigitte Bardot who sent Pamela flowers and wished her well. People reports:
Though the Crazy Horse specializes in presenting topless dancers, “It’s a celebration of women,” says Anderson. “It’s done very respectfully, very classy, and it’s a wonderful show for women as well as for men.”
“This isn’t for money,” said Anderson. “It’s just for the love of the art, and the Crazy Horse does it best.”
Whoa there, Pamela Anderson. I don’t go to the strip club to learn about art. I go to do math problems: If Candy is on Pole A, Trixie is on Pole B and The Superficial Writer, who only has $10, is sitting two seats down from Pole B, how many dollar bills does he need to lay down for Candy and Trixie to kiss but still have money left over for his tenth whiskey sour? (Hint: Don’t forget to carry the one.)
Photos: Splash News
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February 16th, 2008
Christina Aguilera and her husband Jordan Bratman, King of the Mole People, had a romantic Valentine’s dinner last night at Giorgio Baldi. I’m still baffled these two reproduced. But I think I’ve got this one figured out. Originally, I believed Jordan Bratman shot $100 bills out of his penis. It was probably the most scientific explanation I could come up with. After seeing this photo, I discovered a shocking revelation. That’s not Christina Aguilera. That’s a blow-up doll, my friends. The open red lipstick mouth. Total lack of expression. Inexplicable physical contact with Jordan Bratman. My God, the answer was staring us right in the face. Clever ruse, Bratman, but you’ve been exposed. Forage all the cheese and apple cores you need then retreat back below the Earth’s surface from whence you came.
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February 16th, 2008
Lindsay Lohan, or as I affectionately call her “Cinnamon Chesterton,” knocked back vodka and champagne at a West Hollywood club the other night. Heeding the drunken call of her fiery master, Lindsay went on a manhunt and set her eyes on Adrian Grenier. But things didn’t go as planned, according to NY Daily News:
LiLo at first gravitated to Grenier, pulling off her red leather jacket and pulling him onto the dance floor. But when the girl he came with reclaimed the “Entourage” star, Lohan made her way over to the table where Leo was partying with Kevin Connolly and Lukas Haas. “She was very flirty with Leo,” says our spy. “But he wasn’t saying much to her.” DiCaprio and Grenier and their posses exited around 2 a.m., leaving Lohan with some girlfriends.
Kevin Connolly, foolishly thinking he’d touch his first boob, tried to make a pass at the desperate Lindsay. She said she was here with a date then started making out with her purse. Kevin Connolly, cockblocked by a handbag again, sulked sadly back to his home in the Shire to watch porn with Bilbo Baggins. But no eye contact!
Photos: Getty Images
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February 16th, 2008
