Archive for February 28th, 2008
Paris Hilton poses topless for the latest issue of 944 Magazine. I can’t tell if she’s trying to be sexy in these pictures, or really has to go to the bathroom. It’s like “Ooh, yeah, I’m Paris Hilton and I’ve got to piss like a race horse. Isn’t that hot?” I dunno, I guess – sort of. But you know what’s really hot? Drinking anti-freeze. I mean, wow, e to the rotic. And, hey, I’ve got some right here. You go first, sexy girl. Mmm, yum yum!
Photos: 944 Magazine, Splash News
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February 28th, 2008
While Britney Spears’ insanity was determined not to be a federal case, Heath Ledger’s death is getting the federal treatment. Two doctors are currently being scrutinized by federal drug investigators, according to NY Daily News:
The doctors – one in California, one in Texas – are believed to have supplied the “Brokeback Mountain” star with the powerful painkillers Oxycontin and Vicodin, law enforcement sources said. Authorities want to know if the drugs were prescribed illegally. “It’s an ongoing investigation,” a law enforcement source told The News Tuesday. “It’s not clear if there was any wrongdoing.”
Somehow I hope Sam Lutfi is blamed for this. And also Pete Wentz. Then they have to share a jail cell in Guantanamo Bay with a Heath Ledger fan named RazorCock McButtLover. Dear Jesus, if you’re up there, please make this happen. I’ll be a good boy for the rest of the year, I promise. I’ll eat all my vegetables and go to church. Though I can’t promise not to bring my Gameboy because, Christ, that shit is boring. Amen.
Photo: Getty Images
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February 28th, 2008
Heidi Montag can’t do anything without it becoming a totally staged photo shoot. I bet she goes to the bathroom and gives the toilet paper roll a thumbs up and a smile. Here she is shopping at Kitson while cameramen film her for MySpace Presents: The Fit on MySpace Celebrity. I have no idea what that is, nor do I want to know. I’ll just end up wanting to firebomb everyone that uses MySpace. So watch out pervs, 15-year-old girls and, most of all, Dane Cook.
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February 28th, 2008
