As part of her pact with Satan, Amy Winehouse got beat some more by the ugly stick this weekend. Her spokesperson confirmed to the media she’s been diagnosed with impetigo which is not only contagious but makes you look like, well, Amy Winehouse. Here’s the Mayo Clinic’s definition for all you amateur doctors out there:
Impetigo starts as a red sore that quickly ruptures, oozes for a few days and then forms a yellowish-brown crust that looks like honey or brown sugar. The disease is highly contagious, and scratching or touching the sores is likely to spread the infection to other parts of the body as well as to other people.
Okay, so now Amy Winehouse is even more awesome to be around. Not only do you get to see, and presumably smell her, but your skin starts oozing brown sugar. Sweet! Somebody invite this chick to my house on the ASAP. I’m making a whole bunch of oatmeal and finally can use my own face as a condiment. Dreams do come true! *tear*
Photos: Splash News
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March 3rd, 2008
One week after her children’s birth, Jennifer Lopez has decided that we, the little people, are worthy to know the names of her progeny. If you haven’t heard them yet, then you are in for a rare treat. Brace and humble thyself. The children’s names are: Max and Emme! *gasp* And, even better, TMZ points out they’re totally ripped from a PBS show about kids who hang out with dragons! Yay! And, also, WTF!?:
The show is made to help children learn life lessons through the sibling’s adventures, and mixes in Spanish language to promote a bilingual experience for the audience.
Being the intrepid reporter that I am, I scoped out Dragon Tales. All I have to say is Jesus, what are they teaching kids these days? In a nutshell, Emmy and Max have the worst documented case of ADD ever and constantly jet off to “Dragon Land” to kill time. I mean, whatever happened to huffing aerosol? I guess it’s not “cool” for today’s three to eight-year-old demographic. Stupid elitists; they don’t know what they’re missing. *huffs can of Axe* Yeah, that’s the molasses. Now I see dragons and reek of desperation. If I were PBS, I wouldn’t even get out of bed today. You just got P double owned, son!
Photos: Getty Images
View Original Post Here
March 3rd, 2008
