Archive for March 5th, 2008
Katie “Jordan” Price (center) modeled the latest lingerie line for George in London today. She thought it’d be a great idea to invite six of her “everyday” fans to help model the undergarments. Unfortunately, one of her fans happened to be a hairless gorilla in a wig. Hold on, that’s a woman? Why would God create such a beast? It’s because I, you know, do stuff at night, isn’t it? Whoops. My bad, everybody. Sorry!
Photos: Getty Images
View Original Post Here
March 5th, 2008
Hayden Panettiere, my favorite undying obsession activist, stopped by Larry King Live last night and signed autographs for fans waiting outside. I’m kind of pissed because I’ve sent Hayden numerous unanswered requests for an interview. (Location: My pants.) It looks like I’ll have to take out Larry King to achieve my goal. Child’s play. I’ll simply invite him out for an early bird special at Denny’s then, when he takes a nap, I’ll tie his suspenders to a ceiling fan. It’s almost perfect unless he hits me with the Larry Stare. It leaves you powerless so he can slip off to his office for a glass of Metamucil. That man is pure evil.
View Original Post Here
March 5th, 2008
Meet Daisy de la Hoya. She’s not only the niece of Oscar de la Hoya, but she’s currently competing on VH1’s Rock of Love 2 with Bret Michaels. I never watch the show - except for every goddamn day! Inna instead of that bitch Kristy Joe? Seriously, Bret, loosen that bald-dana. Anyway, I hope Daisy wins. That way when Bret dies of old age next year, Daisy will remember my kind words and totally make out with me. Preferably somewhere romantic like a Port-a-John at a Van Halen concert. With a woman like this, it’s all about finesse.
View Original Post Here
March 5th, 2008
