Archive for March 6th, 2008
Jamie Lynn Spears has a guest spot on the upcoming ABC sitcom Miss Guided. A spy for E! News has a quick plot synopsis that will make you want to put a sledge hammer through your television. SPOILER ALERT! For those of you who actually heard of the show before the past 24 hour media barrage:
Becky (the guidance counselor, played by Judy Greer) helps Mandy get into state college, but the substitute Spanish teacher (played by Ashton Kutcher) convinces her not to go because she’ll be “brainwashed by a bunch of dead white men.”
She rewards herself for her decision by hooking up with a second guy, James. By the end of the episode, however, Mandy is back on the college track—and back in the car, making out with Michael.
The spy also reports that the Jamie Lynn sucks as an actress, but it sounds like she’s pretty much playing herself - but not pregnant. And she makes out with boys her own age, not fertile Nickelodeon executives. Also she’s in high school and not getting a GED. Okay, so maybe these are big leaps for Jamie Lynn Spears. Huge, giant enormous steps that frighten and confuse the Jamie Lynn. She probably called Britney for support but all she heard was “munch, munch” and someone in the background yelling “Ha! She thinks it’s candy! Hey, is that a vagina?”
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March 6th, 2008
Patrick Swayze is rumored to have pancreatic cancer and only has five weeks to live. For the past month, the 55-year-old actor has been reportedly receiving treatment at Stanford University’s top-notch cancer center in Palo Alto. The National Enquirer reports:
He received three doses of chemotherapy and the tumor shrank, but less than his doctors had hoped for — and Patrick was told he should prepare for the end.
“He was told he could have two more treatments, but his cancer was not responding. In short - they held out little hope for a cure,” said an insider.
Okay, hopefully this is a wildly exaggerated report and Patrick Swayze has a long life ahead of him. Considering the National Enquirer is the source and no major outlet is running with it yet (Excluding me. What now, TMZ?), Patrick probably just has the flu. If, however, this is true, I hope the insider, who presumably works for the hospital, gets pancreatic cancer of the eye for leaking this info. Patrick Swayze is an icon who deserves his privacy, dammit. C’mon, Road House? No bullshit; that movie will teach you more than The Bible.UPDATE: Patrick Swayze’s publicist confirmed to TMZ that the actor has been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. However, the publicist shot down the Enquirer’s claim that Patrick only has five weeks to live: “Patrick has a very limited amount of disease and he appears to be responding well to treatment thus far. All of the reports stating the timeframe of his prognosis and his physical side effects are absolutely untrue. We are considerably more optimistic.’” Best of luck to Patrick and here’s hoping for a safe recovery.
Photo: Getty Images
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March 6th, 2008
Kim Kardashian filmed a cameo today for an upcoming episode of Entourage. Afterwards, she changed into a white dress, which is undeniably cleavagey with a side of Hot Damn!, to shoot an American Eagle commercial with Adrian Grenier and the other guys on the show. You know, Slappy, Shorty and, I dunno, Ackbar. Despite Kim Kardashian’s presence, I have no interest in seeing “the boys” wear chinos and call each other “dawg.” Also, I’m not much of a clothes-wearing guy. Right, Bob? I see you staring at me through the hole in your cubicle. Feel free to take a gander. It’s all natural - except for the track lighting on my abs. That’s from Home Depot.
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March 6th, 2008
