P. Diddy is planning on launching a car service to pick up drunk celebrities. Why did I immediately think of Tara Reid? Because I can smell her rum breath from here - in my house. Next to the sewer plant. Us Weekly reports:
“After partnering with Ciroc vodka, he wants to make sure everyone’s partying responsibly,” his rep tells Us.
One campaign goal? “Making sure nobody gets arrested!” Combs, the father of twins, says.
Best of luck to you, Diddy. I tried a similar plan myself. I basically got an old school bus and offered to drive shit-faced celebs home. Ultimately I was going to dive out the door right before the bus drove off a cliff. But then, after I looked into David Hasselhoff’s sad little eyes, I just couldn’t do it. Mostly because he decided to sit in my lap until we got to his house. Thank God I tied Andy Dick to the front bumper who yelled directions as I drove. Sorry about that cactus, Andy! I meant to hit the barbed-wire fence next to it. Then careen through the lemonade factory.
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March 13th, 2008
Paris Hilton came out last night to support her sister’s high-end line Nicholai at the Mercedes-Benz LA Fashion Week. Let me be your guide through these pics of an evening in the life of America’s sweetheart/biohazard:1 - 4. Paris poses in an outfit designed by her sister Nicky Hilton. Who? Exactly.5 - 10. Paris and boyfriend Benji Madden show off their dumb-as-shit initial rings which potentially provide free advertisement for Ashton Kutcher’s new show. Ha ha ha has anyone seen my chainsaw and/or butter knife?11 - 14. Paris and Benji play the part of the cute couple. Or as I affectionately call them: C-3PeeBurns and R2-Dickwad.15 - 16. Paris almost flashes her crotch but then miraculously doesn’t. Our eyes continue to remain unburned and capable of sight. (Not counting blind people.) Huzzah!Based on a true story. The End.
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March 13th, 2008
Britney Spears’ brand new video (after the jump) for “Break the Ice” debuted today. Like I posted yesterday the thing is all kinds of crazy anime and was supposedly Britney’s idea. I seriously doubt she has a single clue what’s going down in this video but it’s, admittedly, kind of badass. She probably just stared at the pretty colors and clapped her hands until someone brought her a cookie. Coincidentally, for her next video, Britney wants to be played by an Oreo which, for the sake of accuracy, will be Double Stuffed.Thanks to Paul who’s a Fullmetal Hardass.
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March 13th, 2008
