Archive for March 17th, 2008
Scary Spice (a.k.a. Melanie Brown) continued her Miami vacation by jet-skiing with her husband Stephen Belafonte. She definitely looks better in these pics than earlier ones but has some questionable features. That being said, after perusing your comments I’m afraid I have to address a very controversial topic. I never thought in 2008 I’d have to discuss such issues, but I need to make the most serious and professional statement of my life:
The Superficial Writer’s wang is an equal-opportunity lover of the va-jay-jay. Whether it be black, brown, white, Chinese, Danish, bran muffin or a LEGO castle covered in Pam cooking spray, odds are my weiner will hit that. Discrimination is for assholes. Oh, right, and also Mel “Sugartits” Gibson. Ha ha, that guy hates stuff.
Now that that’s out of the way, good Lord, what happened to this woman’s face? Did she jet-ski into a coral reef?
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March 17th, 2008
Britney Spears and Mel Gibson had dinner together Saturday evening. And yet, somehow, during this meeting of the minds cancer wasn’t cured. Stunning. TMZ reports:
The two were at Romanov Restaurant and Lounge in L.A. last night and according to one report they broke bread together. Our sources say Gibson, his wife Robin and their kids reached out to Britney during her darkest days and began seeing her.
We’re told Mel and Robin feel like they know how tough it is to live in a fishbowl and they think they can help the Britster. There have been private dinners in which Mel, Robin and their brood have hooked up with Brit to give her support.
Oh, what I would’ve given to have been a fly on that wall. Mostly to hear Mel tell Britney the Holocaust isn’t real to which she responds by eating a coaster. She would’ve known it was glass had she not covered it in ranch dressing from the bottle in her purse. That’s our Britney! Wa wa diddle dee doo!
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March 17th, 2008
Scarlett Johansson’s eBay auction ended on Wednesday and some guy from the United Kingdom paid $40,100 for an evening with the actress. Here’s a run down of what he’s in store for from the auction page:
The winning bidder will receive:
* Two tickets to the world premiere of He’s Just Not That Into You. The premiere location has not yet been determined but will be in either Los Angeles or New York this July.
* Chauffeured car service to the premiere
* Hair and makeup for one by Privé
* A meet and greet with Scarlett Johansson at the premiere
Now here’s what Scarlett Johansson’s in store for: Using some investigative journalism (Watch and learn, Dateline), I scoped out the winning bidder “bossnour’s” recent purchases. Since the beginning of 2008, this rich clown has bought three hair straighteners, no less than five pairs of Pumas, two tweed blazers, a metallic bomber jacket, a book on medicine ball exercises, a Corvette headlight and two distressed trucker hats. He also had one mysterious purchase that is listed as private. I’ll assume it’s a steel drum full of rohypnol. So, ScarJo is either in for the most awkward night of her life in the backseat glove compartment of a Corvette, or she’s going on a date with Ashton Kutcher. Whichever it is, may God have mercy on her soul.
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March 17th, 2008
