Archive for March 18th, 2008
Surprise! Ashley Alexandra Dupre already flashed her boobs for Girls Gone Wild back in 2003. A prostitute got naked for Joe Franics? What are the odds? The AP reports:
“It’ll save me a million bucks,” Francis told The Associated Press on Tuesday. “It’s kind of like finding a winning lottery ticket in the cushions of your couch.”
He said his employees got to work on pulling the footage and planned to offer it on the Web site by Tuesday evening, with a free sampling on the front page and the rest available with a $29.95 monthly subscription.
Uh oh, no million bucks for Ashley. Let this be a lesson, ladies. Girls Gone Wild might seem like a good idea (Note: it’s the best idea.), but it could come back to bite you in the ass. You know, after you inevitably become a prostitute and have sex with middle-aged men who turn out to be elected officials. Then you can’t cash in because Joe Francis owns the right to your ta-ta’s. That’s just poor business planning. In between tricks, get yourself down to the community college and sit in on some classes. You might learn something and, please, there’s no need to thank me. Like Jesus I’m just here to help others - and maybe score a freebie.
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March 18th, 2008
Heather Mills apparently dumped water over the head of Paul McCartney’s divorce lawyer yesterday during the court hearing that awarded Heather a ridiculous $48.6 million. Heather was adament about not having the full judgment published which it was and you can view right here! God bless you, Internet. The Daily Mirror reports:
“She’s worried about how the full judgment will make her look if it’s published - and she doesn’t want to go there.
“Her conduct during the divorce is being questioned. She was so angry she tipped a glass of water over Fiona Shackleton’s head leaving her with soaking wet hair.
“Everyone was stunned. That kind of behaviour is just not acceptable.”
Wow, so not only did Heather Mills get paid a shitload of cash for having sex with Paul McCartney. She became violent when she wasn’t getting paid on her terms. Hmm, I believe there’s a word for that also*. What is it again? It’s right on the tip of my tongue. Ah, yes: Superhero.*For those of you who caught the gag yesterday, link goes right to Ashley Alexandra Dupre. Read: Heather Mills is a prostitute. And for $48.6 million her vagina better be lined with gold and have its own water park.
Photo: Getty Images
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March 18th, 2008
Happy St. Patrick’s Day, everybody! Be safe out there and try not to drink too much because I need you bright-eyed and bushy-tailed to give me site traffic in the morning. See? I care. Now to continue celebrating this momentous day. I already started this morning by pouring Guinness on me Lucky Charms. And also me cereal. Hi-yo! Drink responsibly, folks, and remember, stealing a cop’s horse is technically not a form of designated driving. No matter how many carrots you feed it at the strip club which, seriously, I still don’t get.NOTE:: The above photo is Pete Doherty. To anyone who thinks it’s actually me, wow, I’ve never been so insulted in my life. Even that one time I made love to a woman and she laughed afterwards then called me Two Seconds McTinyBalls III.
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March 18th, 2008
