Archive for June 19th, 2008

Ladies, you’re going to have to help me out on this one because I’m freakin’ clueless about this stuff: What the hell is going on with Tila Tequila’s tan? Either she went nuts with the bronzing gun, or someone left the E-Z Bake Oven open again. Which one is it? I know it’s not natural because I’ve read the Keebler Elves’ charter, and it strictly prohibits exposure to “the human’s harsh sun.” It’s called research, kids. The handiest tool in the blogger’s tool belt – not counting meth. Geekologist, fire up another batch! I’m starting to trust the government again.
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June 19th, 2008

Contrary to legend, actor Steve Guttenberg (Police Academy) is alive and well. Oh yeah, and also roiding his freaking face off. Some paps apparently recognized Steve yesterday in New York, and he decided to thank them by going retard nuts on their camera. Looks like somebody saw the Hulk this weekend. Then, you know, took a turkey baster full of HGH to the colon. MAHONEY!!
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June 19th, 2008

Anyone get the feeling Gisele Bundchen is suggesting something directly to me, The Superficial Writer? It’s either something really awesome like Naked Battleship, or she needs a chiropractor. Who knows? But I better stare at these photos from the latest issue of GQ for a few more hours/days to be sure. In the meantime, scope out this excerpt from Gisele’s interview:
Forbes has reported that you made $35 million last year, more than twice as much as any other model in the world.
Do you think that’s important to me? Look, this is my job. I take pictures. There is no big deal. I would like to know who this reporter is finding out all of these amounts. And I would like him to talk to my accountant and figure out where is the cash that’s missing. Because I haven’t seen it.
Did I also mention Gisele has the world’s shittiest accountant and loves being robbed blind? Finally, a woman with money falling out of her vagina! And they all laughed at me. “That’s just some crazy sketch you made in the men’s room,” they said. Ha! Who’s laughing now? (Not counting Tom Brady whose about to suffer a horrible canoe accident. Anyone got a torpedo I can borrow?)NOTE: Pics link to NSFW versions.
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June 19th, 2008