Archive for June 22nd, 2008
The Graziano family has released video footage of John Graziano’s daily rehabilitation in the hospital. We’ve all known he’s been in a coma and has a hole in a head, but no one mentioned how freaking huge the hole is. The footage appeared on Nancy Grace midweek with the hole pixelated and, well, uh, I just saw the unpixelated version. It’s goddamn insane and really puts Hulk Hogan’s “God wants John in a coma to make him a better person” comment in a whole other light. A bright, bleached, asinine “Wow, what a dick” light. No wonder the Hulk got death threats from John’s brother. In fact, I’m about to give him a death threat:
Terry… you cocksucka… I will pee in your moustache… all your money won’t help you now… unless you buy a moustache shield… um… sucker of cocks, Luke, I’m your father.
Go easy on me. It’s my first time.WARNING: Uncensored video after the jump contains disturbing images unless you’re the sort of person who finds gaping head wounds divine.Thanks to The Builder for the tip. I hope those permits come through.
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June 22nd, 2008
Britney Spears is selling her house, but where she moves next might not be in California. (God, holy shit you’re real!) Her mom Lynne filed a statement in Britney’s ongoing 10-month-old hit and run case where she was driving without a valid license. In the statement, Lynne spells out that Britney wishes to move back to Louisiana. In case you’re wondering why Lynne filed a declaration, Britney’s still considered mentally incompetent. Ha ha, law BURN. E! Online reports:
Lynne goes on to say that while her daughter “has spent a majority of her time over the last five years in the state of California,” she only did so out of necessity both in part for her work and “primarily with respect to a custody dispute currently ongoing. Although Britney has owned her house in Beverly Hills for more than a year, she has also owned her Louisiana residence for eight years…Britney still intends to return to Louisiana.”
The above pictures are Britney buying smokes outside the hospital where Jamie Lynn gave birth yesterday. And, no the peyote hasn’t kicked in yet, she’s actually wearing a bra. Guess the kinfolk don’t take kindly to those sweater hounds swingin’ yonder. Which is polite Southern talk for: “I sees me another nipple ain’t got no NASCAR number in the fo-cinity, I reckon I’ll fetch my gun.” When in Rome, Britney.
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June 22nd, 2008
Doctors believed Amy Winehouse was suffering from tuberculosis after she fainted in her home on Monday, but it turns out she’s just got a really bad chest infection and also an irregular heartbeat. Hmm, I wonder what could’ve caused these things. If only there was some clear cut, bright as day answer to why Amy Winehouse’s body is a walking unwrapped mummy of disease… Puzzling. The Daily Mail reports:
A close friend said: “Doctors are still struggling to control her heartbeat but the chest condition has been really worrying them. She’d been suffering horrible coughing fits and hurling up blood for a while but refused to be examined. Doctors are doing more tests to be certain. The last thing she needs is to be wheeled on stage. She needs a rest.”
This just in: Doctors have removed a Colombian drug mule from Amy’s left ventricle. How the donkey got in there will baffle the field of medicine for years to come. Until they figure out she uses really, really big drug needles. I’m talking these things have wheels, driver’s seat and passenger side airbags. Did I mention a DVD player for the kids? That too. Lease now for an affordable APR you won’t want to miss.**Subject to credit approval. Bring a tourniquet.
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June 22nd, 2008
