Archive for June 24th, 2008
Rod Stewart and his wife English model Penny Lancaster were sailing in the Mediterranean over the weekend and apparently it was time for Rod’s feeding. While I assumed that would require the blood of peasant children, it was way, way weirder than that. Turns out Rod Stewart is breastfed by his wife. I’ll pause for a moment while you fuck the what. I guess growing old does come with some advantages – provided you’re a world-famous millionaire singer with a yacht. Otherwise, this experience doesn’t really translate well for us regular folks. Right, Grandpa? Hey, where’d you get a grenade?NOTE: Pics link to NSFW versions that you can click on at your own risk – unless you hate having erections. Then by all means…Thanks to Karen for making me suspicious of nursing homes. Or should I say – dens of iniquity? I blame the bread pudding.
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June 24th, 2008
Remember when Heath Ledger died and his family said, “Oh yeah, don’t worry. We’ll take care of his kid.”? Bullish shit. Turns out Michelle Williams hasn’t seen a dime for daughter Matilda and is well aware that Heath’s dad Kim botched the handling of his own father’s estate. As an act of protest, she will not attend the premiere of The Dark Knight, according to Page Six:
An insider said, “Michelle is furious with Heath’s family and threatening to boycott the premiere. Matilda is supposed to be the beneficiary of the will, but Michelle has seen nothing from them. Heath didn’t have much in cash, but there was a big house in LA and a back-end deal for ‘Dark Knight’ [that] could reap millions.”
Great. Only movie I’m looking forward to all summer and these Jokers (Jesus of comedy, people. That’s me.) have to use it to publicize their money problems. Unless this is some sort of crazy viral marketing. Of course! I bet if I click on Michelle Williams eye I’ll see a sweet clip of Batman punching someone. Excuse me – Taxi! New York City! But first let’s stop at Staples. I need a wireless mouse that says “Jam me in the cornea of one of those Dawson kids” but also “smooth ergonomic design.”
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June 24th, 2008
Victoria’s Secret model Miranda Kerr and boyfriend Orlando Bloom hit up Gran Canaria, Spain for some topless action. I love how she’s using a book to cover her fun parts. When I’m nude it requires the whole Encyclopedia Brittanica to cover my business. You know, once it loaded onto an iPod. I should really turn the AC down in my apartment. Yeah, that’s gotta be it…NOTE: Pics link to uncensored NSFW versions which include a Miranda Kerr nipple and, for the ladies/Geekologist, an entire Orlando Bloom buttocks. Who loves ya?
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June 24th, 2008
