Archive for June 25th, 2008
DeAnna Pappas is this season’s The Bachelorette and seeing her in a bikini almost makes me consider putting on a tux and competing for her hand in marriage. I mean, what do those other guys have besides looks, money and non-misogynistic world views? That’s for suckers. I’m willing to commit myself to one vagina in defiance of logic and nature for 40+ secretly unhappy, but it’s pretty much written on our faces especially after that time I got the clap from a stripper, years. I guess what I’m trying to say is, I’m an old romantic.
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June 25th, 2008
Steven Tyler (seen here with girlfriend Erin “Just want you to know I have breasts” Brady) reportedly stopped into a SoHo Starbucks yesterday and almost caused a sister of the church to strip off her habit, according to Page Six:
A witness reports a nun went “crazy” upon realizing that the man next to her in line was the Aerosmith frontman. According to our spy, the nun started jumping up and down and yelling to Tyler “Have a good day” and, “I can’t believe that you are in my Starbucks.”
I had no idea Jesus’ brides were allowed to listen to Devil music and also drink non-blessed coffee. I’m sure they stir it with a crucifix, but what’s next? Blogging? Sorry, but I’m not competing with Sister Big’uns Holy Cathedral of Boobies.com. Especially considering that was my original name for this site. The Superficial? What was I smoking…
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June 25th, 2008
Katherine Heigl was spotted at her home yesterday getting ready to relax in her pool. Apparently she’s not done wearing a bikini, and God bless her, may just wear one all summer. In the meantime, why is she hiding in fear in her own house from the paparazzi? I don’t know about you, but if the paps were in my abode trying to snap a pic I’d come at them with something they’d never suspect: the whole fruit basket. I mean, these guys obviously braved the landmines, moat and T-Rex* to get a shot of your’s truly, so they deserve a glimpse of something awesome and possibly diamond-crusted. Wink.*I have many valuables. (Read: Comic books and Swedish fish.)
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June 25th, 2008
