Archive for July, 2008

Rihanna hit the clubs last night in New York City and apparently decided to fly sans bra. These pics might be considered LSFW depending on your boss’ vision. If he clearly sees nipples, that man’s in the wrong line of work and should be a goddamn Army sniper. I’ve been staring at these things for hours like it’s a Magic Eye picture. So far all I’ve seen is a tugboat, two polar bears kissing and Edgar Winter.
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July 31st, 2008
Jamie Lynn Spears will wed Casey Aldridge, the father of baby Maddie Briann (open to debate), this fall and reportedly host the ceremony in her own backyard. Britney will be the maid of honor as part of her final test to prove she has the mental fortitude to not hump a cake. OK! Magazine reports:
“She loves everything about the area where she lives. She’s not going to get married at some luxury resort in the Caribbean or a hotel in Beverly Hills,” a friend of the bride-to-be tells OK!. “Her own backyard with just the people who matter most is more Jamie Lynn’s style.”
And with the wedding approaching quickly, Jamie Lynn is planning to look her best on the big day. “She’s already down to her pre-pregnancy weight,” says the friend. “She has the cutest figure!”
There’s nothing like seeing a young couple on their way to NRA membership and NASCAR-induced domestic violence. It’s like a Disney movie waiting to be made!
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July 31st, 2008

These are shots of Leonardo DiCaprio’s on/off girlfriend model Bar Rafaeli. I don’t know what it says about a man who gets tired seeing a girl like this naked. Except I do and it says “Hey, I’m Leonardo DiCaprio and can get any woman I want with minimal to no effort.” Yeah, well, I can get any chick I want too. Provided she’s susceptible to hypnosis, a heavy drinker and “trying to pay her way through law school.”
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July 31st, 2008

Hayden Panettiere (seen here at Comic-Con over the weekend trying to keep her hands clean from dork debris) reportedly gave her boyfriend Milo Ventimiglia a striptease on the set of Heroes for his 31st birthday. Why must you forsake me, Lord? Australia News Limited reports:
A source said: “Hayden gave Milo an unforgettable birthday surprise by morphing from her bouncy cheerleader character in Heroes to a bump-and-grind striptease. As she sang ‘Happy Birthday’ to Milo in front of cast and crew during lunch she ripped off the costume to show off her sexy red lingerie. Milo’s face went bright red.”
You know how I know this isn’t true? Because I spent the past six hours crying under my desk which means IT NEVER HAPPENED. Nobody talk about this again. In fact - Hold on, I just got an e-mail from The Geekologie Writer:”Hey, remember how you’re not Milo Ventimiglia and didn’t get a lap dance from Hayden Panettiere? I had those words tattooed on my forehead. Wings later?”Nice. Real nice. Wait, here’s one from my mom:”Honey, I just heard the news. Don’t worry, you’ll meet a nice girl soon who’ll do naughty dances for you. But maybe it wouldn’t hurt to lower your expectations a little. Do you remember that sweet girl who lived down the street and murdered her whole family? I hear she’s single! Smooches.”Christ, who’s next? The president? *BEEP* Ah, shit…:”I LIKES WEARING COWBOY HATS!”Thanks to Tyler for the really great tip. It’s so great that I actually have one for you: I’m your biological father.
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July 30th, 2008
Shia LaBeouf’s crash on Sunday morning turned out to be not his fault despite being freaking loaded, according to the AP:
Sheriff’s spokesman Steve Whitmore says detectives have determined that the other driver apparently ran a red light, and will be also be cited.
Now this is something I wouldn’t want to know if I were Shia LaBeouf. I’d prefer learning a valuable lesson instead of finding out, “Hey, guess what, you’re actually a decent drunk driver who just got nailed by some idiot.” There’s only way that’ll end: Me filling my glove box with Jim Beam and Jell-O and starting an office car pool. Sure, everyone will complain I’m not wearing any pants, but have you seen those gas prices?
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July 30th, 2008
Madonna’s publicist is claiming the pictures of Madonna looking like emaciated shit were doctored. She says Madonna was looking as radiant as ever just days before. And by radiant I mean a fucking mutant. People reports:
“I just think the photographer got a bad shot of her or it was touched up to make her look bad,” says her rep Liz Rosenberg. “I saw Madonna two days before at her rehearsal and she looked amazing – glowing skin and working really hard on her show.”
Hmm, if Madonna’s rep says she looked amazing just two days earlier, what the hell happened? I mean, besides the obvious which is Madonna died, and they’re keeping her alive ala Weekend at Bernie’s. Hey, it works for the Olsen twins…
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July 30th, 2008

These are pics of Latin pop singer Paulina Rubio on vacation with her husband. I don’t really have much to say about these except for such stereotypical responses as “Holy Frijoles!”; “Ay dios mio!”; and “El queso está viejo y pútrido. ¿Dónde está el sanitario?”
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July 29th, 2008

Samantha Ronson is shooting down a rumor that she refused to play Ali Lohan’s new single because it’s a flaming turd. The rumor started in yesterday’s Page Six, and Samantha decided to set the record straight by blogging about it on her MySpace page. But not before playing golf, slathering herself in whipped cream and fulfilling various other lesbian stereotypes:
i mean….. really?
ok- so i don’t make reference to most of the crap said but every now and then my patience wears a little bit thin—-
1- I really like the song- as soon as her myspace page goes up it will be a song of the day-
2- the only person who showed up with a cd for me to play was my lil step brother chris- he is in my top friends- i played his song coz i like it
3- where do they come up with this sh*t????
4- the most pathetic thing of all is that richard johnson is an old friend of my mother’s and therefore could have easily fact checked this one….. however- it would seem that no one cares to do any of that anymore- in fact- i’m sure if i looked up the last 10 times my name appeared on that page i would find that none of it was true.
i wouldn’t be responding to this one- but i’m afraid that people might actually believe that and that’s not fair to Ali. She’s 14 years old- high school is bad enough- do tabloids really need to torture teenagers as well?
well then- with that out of the way- I hope you are all well and check out the single on itunes- it’s a great f***ing pop song!
Alright, I can understand Samantha Ronson pretending to love Ali’s single. It’s her girlfriend’s little sister; I get it. Sam wants to stay flush with fire crotch. But “fact checking”? Now she’s just making up words.
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July 29th, 2008
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