Archive for July 1st, 2008

Celeb News: Elisabetta Gregoraci wears a bikini, gold digs


These are shots of Wonderbra model Elisabetta Gregoraci on her honeymoon with husband Flavio Briatore. You may remember Flavio as the Italian businessman who knocked up Heidi Klum then bounced. Clearly, this man knows he can get any woman he wants. Also, the ability to shoot gold nuggets from his penis may have something to do with it. NASA’s looking into it then providing me with an estimate. I’m hoping to get a similar set-up of my own. Except I’m not rich, so I hope the ladies like Pop Tarts.

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Celeb News: Spencer Pratt’s Douche Manifesto revealed

Thumbnail image for 0616_spencer_pratt_letterman_01.jpgSomebody, somewhere on the Interwebs decided to do some research (?) into the whole Mary-Kate Olsen/Spencer Pratt feud which apparently started back in high school. In a 2007 Details article, Spencer brags about selling a picture of an underage Mary-Kate drinking at a party for $50,000. On top of of that, he also dishes out his blatant attempts to leech the everliving fuck out of the celebrity world even if it requires having sex with Heidi on video:On getting Brody to date Nicole Richie:“All right, then here’s what you’re gonna do. You’re gonna start dating Nicole Richie. And you’re gonna get that skinny bitch to eat, all right? You are about to become The Guy Who Got Nicole Richie to Eat. Process that shit, bro. You’ll be, like, a fucking hero to America.On being famous“What does it take to be famous nowadays? Nothing! Look at Nicole. She’s on the cover of every magazine every week. And why? Because she doesn’t eat. Well, lots of girls in this country don’t eat. That’s, like, my whole philosophy with Brody—make him part of that.”On starting his own sex tape scandal:Pratt spends 20 minutes talking about how he plans to make a tape of himself and Heidi Montag having sex, which he’s thinking about posting online.On Kevin Connolly of HBO’s Entourage:“That guy is a joke,” Pratt says with scorn. “We were Entourage before Entourage.” He’s not joking. To Pratt, the notion that someone would become famous by acting is ridiculous. “Why would anyone act,” he asks, “when they can just play themselves?”Dear Hollywood,I know you’re reading this because you can’t get enough awesome. Don’t worry; your secret’s safe. In return for my silence, I’m calling in a favor. The next time Spencer Pratt comes to your office with some sort of asscockian pitch, I want you to throw a bucket of AIDS in his face. Nothing fancy. Just a bucket of AIDS. If you don’t have a bucket of AIDS or recently threw one at a member of the Hogan family, I’d be glad to provide you with another one - free of charge.Together we can make a difference.The Superficial Writer.

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Celeb Gossip: Britney Spears shows off her panties/butt crack


I wasn’t going to post these to save you from, well, having to look at them, but here’s Britney Spears showing off her panties in Los Angeles over the weekend. Maybe ’showing off’ isn’t the right choice of words here, since the photographers are basically sticking their hands up her skirt. I’m not sure why any reasonable human being would attempt to zoom in on Britney Spears’ butthole like that, but this is the paparazzi we’re talking about. I guess we should just be thankful they stopped there. Also, what the hell is going on with the texture of Britney Spears’ private area? It looks like somebody decided to replace her vagina with a dirty old man’s armpit.NOTE: Pics might be NSFW, depending on how you classify the horrible-looking area around Britney Spears’ taint.

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