Happy 4th of July, everybody!On this most patriotic of days, I encourage you all to think about the sacrifices made by our forefathers. Sacrifices that allow a guy like me to write freely about breasts without the King of England coming into my home and teabagging me, if I recall my history lessons. So, on that note, USA!Catch you guys on Monday.P.S. Bring a musket.
Add comment July 3rd, 2008
These are pictures of High School Musical’s Ashley Tisdale spending her birthday in Hawaii. If you have no idea who she is, please, switch lives with me. In the meantime, I guess she’s hot - sort of. I dunno. Hold on, my penis just wrote me a note: “I quit.” Dude! What about the memories we’ve had together? Like all those time I’d think inanimate objects were really a woman: The coffeemaker, the book shelf, Suzanne Somers…
Add comment July 3rd, 2008
Ashley Kaufmann, or may or may not be the fruit of Michael Lohan’s loins, is already angling for a record contract, according to MSNBC:
A record-industry insider says, “Ashley has more talent than Lindsay or Ali.”
A Lohan family source adds, “Ashley’s singing ability just proves that the family talent comes from Michael (Lohan), not Dina Lohan.”
It should be noted the “Lohan family source” was Michael Lohan wearing a pair of those glasses with the fake nose and moustache. He almost got away with it until he went a tad overboard: “Michael should also get his own reality show. You know something wholesome yet empowering. I’m thinking ‘Michael Lohan’s A Father’s Journey: One Man’s Eternal Struggle with That Bitch-whore Ex-Wife of His Who Can’t Shut Her Freakin’ Booze-Hole Unless there’s a Cock in It. Even then.’” Coming this Fall to ABC Family.Thanks to James who has more talent in his breakfast cereal than these jokers.
Add comment July 3rd, 2008
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