
Here’s Kim Kardashian outside a nail salon yesterday in a candid shot that forces me not to question her existence for once. Also, scope out the freaking size of Kim’s purse. Clearly, it’s a protective shield for her ass. I bet she’s got at least a sofa and love seat in there. Which makes me wonder: What’s in the purse? Hi-OH! I’ll be in the Catskills all weekend, folks. Stay for the veal.
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July 7th, 2008

Cynthia Rodriquez, wife of New York Yankee Alex “A-Rod” Rodriquez, has already decided that separation is for pussies and is filing for divorce. She also wants alimony and primary custody of the children which should be fun considering she signed a pre-nup. Whoops. Her attorney Maurice Kutner broke the news to the Miami Herald:
”She feels that she has exhausted every opportunity to salvage the marriage, and that Alex has emotionally abandoned her and the children and has left her with no choice but to divorce him,” Kutner said Sunday.
Cynthia blames Madonna for this whole debacle and believes the pop singer is using her crazy kaballah magic to bend A-Rod to her will, according to NY Daily News:
“I believe he was having an affair with Madonna,” she told a friend, who spoke anonymously for fear of angering A-Rod. “She said she found a letter where Alex told Madonna: ‘You are my true soulmate.’”
“I feel like Madonna is using mind control over him,” Cynthia Rodriguez told the friend. “I don’t recognize the man he’s become. He was a sweet, beautiful, loving husband and father. Today he’s very cold and calculating.”
“Sweet, beautiful, loving husband?” Last I checked, A-Rod was banging strippers before the Madonna shenanigans. I guess he must’ve been really romantic about it: “Honey, Cynthia, listen; I just want you to know you’re my one and only. Which is why I’ve gotta go out this afternoon and put my penis in a stripper. I know it’s Christmas day and all, but I promise to be home in time for supper. Now get that beautiful butt of yours on the couch and don’t have sex with Lenny Kravitz while I’m gone. Ahh, I’m kidding! But not really and I have a gun. Smooches!”
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July 7th, 2008

One of the more humorous elements of my job (besides Spencer Pratt’s face) is when reality shows are reported as if the shit happening on them is real. In this case, Kristy Morgan (above) who “won” this season’s A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila but turned down Tila on the finale. People caught up with Kristy to find out why she chose not to date a fake bisexual. It’s called a script, folks:
“I really went with what my heart said,” Morgan said. “Sometimes you date people, and then it’s not always the happy ending.”Morgan, who is bisexual, said she was “emotionally unstable” living away from friends and family and in a house full of lesbians and straight men. “It helped me learn what type of woman I want to be, [but] I started to emotionally break down,” she said.
Meanwhile, Tila Tequila is feigning rage on her website and unleashed some angry leprechaun poetry while telling MTV where to dump the pile of cash for a third season:
Thunderfuck my mouth is shut. Been a while, feel like a cunt.
Can’t wait for this drama to pass.
Oh the joy…..fuck you. My ass.
Live a lie.
Tell my mind.
Over soon. I can’t deny.
You will all soon see, the truth in my eyes.
Smile on my face, the loving embrace….but instead I’ll punch you in the face.
For a long time coming….I let you touch me….now that it’s over bitch….You better start running.
Pent up inside….telling these lies….this has gone too far…..the world will soon die.
Only 1 more day. To feel this way. Tomorrow I smile….brings another day!
Back to myself. Nobody else. Fuck all this bullshit. I’m back to myself. Yes. Thank the fuck God.
Wow. That’s quite a verbose entry for someone who has to hop from key to key.
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July 7th, 2008