Celine Dion is on vacation in France where she’s developed a habit of parading around her balcony in a new swimsuit each hour. (Ha ha, old people.) Now, I know I swore an oath to always post pictures of celebs in bikinis no matter who they are, but halfway through this post I’m starting this might be a mistake. It’s kind of like when you bring a girl home after a few drinks, and the night is rife with passion. Then you realize, wait, this chick seems kind of hairy. And also keeps pulling fish out of the aquarium. Aw fuck she’s a grizzly bear. Yeah, it’s exactly like that.
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July 9th, 2008
Brooke Hogan’s new reality show Brooke Knows Best debuts on Sunday, and she’s busting her Adam’s apple promoting the pilot. She did the always stalwart bikini posing in Miami except the photographer got a little too close to her bad side (i.e. the face.) Then Brooke jetted off to New York City to work the talk show circuit where she felt stripper heels were appropriate attire. If you’re wondering how I know those are stripper heels, it’s all about research. Lots and lots of research. So much research that maybe I can’t afford rent and have been living on ketchup packets. I’m a dedicated journalist.
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July 9th, 2008
Amy Winehouse has a new addiction: tanning! Of course, you couldn’t tell by looking at her, but all I’ll say is: crack. Amy’s friends are concerned because she’s not only spending way too much time fake-baking, but also tends to pass the fuck out in the booths. This should end well. The Sun reports:
Rehab singer Amy, 24, even dozes off under the ultraviolet lamps, which release the same type of harmful radiation found in sunlight.
One friend said: “Amy can’t do anything by halves. Recently she has been going for it on the sunbed, but she won’t be told. She bought it to get rid of scabs that started appearing on her skin.”
Please, let her try tanning with the beehive on. Please, let her try tanning with the beehive on. Please let her try tanning with the beehive on. Please, let her try tanning with the beehive on. Please, let her try tanning with the beehive on….
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July 9th, 2008
