Gossip Weblog

Archive for July 17th, 2008

Gossip: Katie Price launches another book using her entire arsenal of dumb which consists of, but not limited to, her ridiculous breasts

Ah, yes, I love these special days when Katie “Jordan” Price dresses up to launch another one of her literary endeavors. Why, you ask? Because I know I’m in for a bag full of retardation. This time around, instead of a homoerotic children’s book or a new installment in her 20,000 volume autobiography, Katie wrote “an explosive and highly-charged tale of love, lies and celebrity,” according to the book’s Amazon UK page.How does Katie Price manage to write a new book every 2-3 months? It seems like she spends most of her time trying to design costumes for the sole purpose of making my penis cry. On that note, keep fixing the tiara, Katie. Because that’s exactly what’s going wrong here.

Photos: Splash News

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Celeb Gossip: Claire Danes in a bikini

Here’s something you don’t see everyday: Claire Danes wearing a bikini. She’s vacationing in Italy with boyfriend Hugh Dancy, and it looks like she’s having a relaxing time tanning, taking pictures and reading a book spread eagle which would be hot if I didn’t just spend the past hour looking for her breasts with a magnifying glass. Are they under the beach chair? I don’t get it.

Photos: INFdaily.com

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Celeb News: Hayden Panettiere’s new music video may have broken my crush, wait, are those panties?! Ignore everything I just said.

Hayden Panettiere (seen here at last night’s ESPY awards) dropped her new music video “Wake Up Call” today, and I’ll be the first to admit the song is fucking clown shoes. That said, I definitely saw Hayden’s panties in the video, so who do I speak to about getting this thing an Oscar? It’s hands down the greatest visual experience I’ve had since that time I watched BBC’s Planet Earth on acid - which was this morning. On a related note, I’m a wombat.Video after the jump.