Khloe Kardashian reported to the Van Nuys Courthouse to begin serving her jail sentence for violating a probation agreement from her 2007 DUI. And, aww, look, she brought the whole family. Because getting O.J. off the hook wasn’t a big enough mockery of the legal system for the Kardashians.At any rate, let’s start taking bids on when she gets out. Nicole Richie and Lindsay Lohan both served just north of 80 minutes, but Khloe’s not exactly that caliber of celebrity. However, she does require those giant space cuffs used on Chewbacca in Star Wars, so it’s anyone’s guess really.EDIT: Added Kim on Jimmy Kimmel last night talking about Khloe’s legal predicament after the jump. Thanks to JMack. You’re a freakin’ knight.UPDATE: Khloe’s out! Time served: 173 minutes, according to TMZ, which means she’s almost exactly 50% less popular than Nicole Richie and Lindsay Lohan while still 50% taller than most women, Sasquatches and NBA guards.
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July 18th, 2008
Attention Superficial readers: Audrina Patridge has breasts.No need to thank me. Just doing my job. Oh, wow, the key to the city? If you insist…
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July 18th, 2008
Jessica Alba and her month-old daughter Honor Marie Warren currently grace the cover of the latest issue of OK! Magazine. Check out the details of her birthing process which is probably the biggest pile of fake I’ve ever read in my life. Next to that time I looked at Heidi Montag’s face:
“I didn’t scream,” Jessica tells OK! in an exclusive interview and photoshoot. “It was really Zen.” And Cash could only marvel at his wife’s quiet strength when she gave birth. “She didn’t make a sound,” he says. “It was amazing.”
The Love Guru star tells OK! that she had natural birth. “The labor was more like meditation,” she says. “I did yoga breathing. I was focused.”
Can someone explain to me why the hell these gossip mags feel the need to make child birth sound like a fairy tale? “I simply passed a soft gentle pillow out of my vagina - and then a rainbow appeared!” Jesus. First off, any housewife worth her weight in delicious sandwich, knows this is bullshit. Second, I’ve seen child birth before (through a peephole), and it’s not magic princess time. There’s mostly a lot of screaming and yelling followed by a stethoscope jammed in my eye when I’m discovered. So, tabloid industry, why don’t you write about that for once? NOTE: I’m available for pictures.
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July 18th, 2008
