Archive for July 21st, 2008

Celeb News: Jessica Simpson booed at first country concert


Jessica Simpson is attempting to crossover into country music, and apparently, it’s not as easy as singing about your truck and beating your wife. Who knew? She gave her first “country” performance in Wisconsin and somehow escaped without getting a bottle of Bud jabbed in her eye. Kenosha News reports:

Many audience members found her attempt to crossover into country irritating and that her vocals lacked a southern sound.
“I just don’t hear the country in her; I don’t hear the twang. She’s not good enough to be here,” said Adam Matos, 21, from Arlington Heights, Ill.
One man summed her performance up in a single word.
“It’s crap,” said Ryan Sia, 28, from East Troy. “She doesn’t belong here.”

But Jessica Simpson tried her best to win the tough crowd over by making one of her trademark retard statements:

“I don’t know what your perception is of Jessica Simpson or what tabloid you buy, but I just want you to know that I’m just a girl from Texas; I’m just like you. I’m doing what I love and dating a boy,” Simpson said.

Note to Jessica Simpson: Probably not a good idea to tell a crowd full of roughnecks you’re just like them because you’re dating a boy. These guys like to keep that shit on the down low, if you know what I mean. (Read: I’m going to get my ass beat the next time I’m in Wisconsin. And I already bought tickets for the Curd Convention. Goddammit…)Thanks to James who’s got the twang, ladies.

Photos: Flynet

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Gossip: Helen Mirren in a bikini, by insanely large request


I gotta hand it to you guys: You don’t hesitate for a second when I violate the Sacred Bikini Code of posting regardless of age, weight or breastlessness. I received no less than 78 gajillion emails asking why I haven’t posted these shots of 63-year-old actress Helen Mirren (The Queen) in a bikini. You’re a surprisingly more mature bunch than I thought. Time to start skewing my jokes towards an older crowd. Here’s a good one:What did the Kaiser say to Howard Hughes?War bonds?! I thought she was a Studebaker!Ha! Tomfoolery at it’s best! Don’t forget to drink your Ovaltine, folks, and remember; nothing soothes what ails you like a refreshing Lucky Strike. Signing off.

Photos: Daily Mail

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