Natalie Portman plays a Bollywood princess in the video for her boyfriend Devendra Banhart’s new single “Carmensita.” WARNING: I hope you like pubes and talks of “sacred teats.” That said, this thing kicks the shit out of the Star Wars prequels, but then again, pretty much 99% of YouTube does. With the exception of Tron Guy. Just kidding! That dude is Jesus.Thanks to Bre for the video which has me convinced I accidentally put mescaline in my coffee again.Video after the jump.
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July 22nd, 2008
Spanish actress Ana Obregón hit the beach in Miami and it looks like she’s joined by Jack from Will & Grace. (Okay, not really.) David Beckham allegedly tapped Ana’s 56-year-old ass which earned her the nickname “Geriatric Barbie” from Victoria Beckham. Now before you say “Awww yeah” take a closer look. Once you finish chasing your eyes around the room, keep in mind David got with Ana back in 2005, so maybe time has been really, really cruel to her. In fact, some might say time pushed Ana down an elevator shaft then tossed in a grenade. Just for kicks.
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July 22nd, 2008
If Khloe Kardashian has a publicist, and we live in a cruel enough world for that to be true, he/she no doubt had a coronary after Khloe decided to talk to Ryan Seacrest about her excruciating three hours dealing with the legal system. Khloe cited the four year anniversary of the death her father, O.J. Simpson lawyer Robert Kardashian, as the reason for her drinking that led to the DUI arrest. Only to say he’s still looking out for her and pulling heavenly strings to keep her out of jail. Ha ha ha I want these people to get the Ebola virus. E! News reports:
“As soon as I got to Lynwood, there were three bomb threats…The warden came down to talk to me, and he was saying, ‘You’re the one causing all the problems here.’ And I’m like, ‘Ugh, I don’t need any more problems.’ And he’s like, ‘There’s all these bomb threats, and we’re thinking it’s for you.’
“But because of all these things, it’s a blessing, and I was actually released early because I was a threat to the prison.”
That, and, the correctional facility would no doubt like it pointed out, because of the perpetual overcrowding of the jail system. Still, Kardashian’s brief sojourn to the pokey paid off in sheer lessons learned.
“Honestly, I would never do it again…It’s just not worth it…It’s so much time.”
It’s so much time? THREE FUCKING HOURS?! Seriously, you sat and watched Batman which was just 30 minutes shy of the time you spent in jail. It’s moments like this I wish elephant hunting wasn’t illegal. Then again the odds of me going to jail are apparently slim. Somebody fetch my rifle and ivory saw. I don’t see any tusks in this photograph, but that could be from all the jowl.UPDATE: TMZ just pissed in Khloe’s corn flakes: She cites the anniversary of her father’s death as the reason for her DUI when arrested on March 4. Except Robert Kardashian died on September 30. FTW? I almost felt bad about equating Khloe with a pachyderm. Now I wish I went with sperm whale. Next time, Khloe. Next time…
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July 22nd, 2008
