Archive for July 27th, 2008
Heidi and Spencer love to take everyday events and turn them into photo shoots so fucking retarded, you’ll swear you’ve been huffing paint all morning. Here some hapless realtor is forced to take part in their shenanigans. But, then again, this man has no soul because he later lied to TMZ about Mr. and Mrs. Cockweasel’s real estate potential:
So we thought it was a big publicity stunt, until we called the realtor who showed the property. Sandro Dazzan says they’re “serious buyers,” although he doesn’t think they’ll pull the trigger right away. Dazzan stunned us when he said they can afford the $12 million beach house right now, but that they’re “at least six months” out from being able to afford the bigger house.
Serious buyers who won’t pull the trigger. Interesting, Sandro. So, basically, Heidi showed you her boobs, and you agreed to pretend they’ve got money? Unless a commission shot out of her nipples, congratulations, you’re an idiot. The only way these two can buy a house is if you let them pay in forced smiles and chin wax.
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July 27th, 2008
Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt’s French chateau was invaded by camo-wearing paparazzi. The two men Rambo’d there way onto the grounds - only to get their shit wrecked by Pitt-Jolie security guards. BOFF! POW! CAMERA IN THE ASS! The AP reports:
Police spokeswoman Capt. Olivia Poupot said Friday the two photographers were wearing camouflage clothes. She said police officers took them and the two guards in for questioning after Thursday’s bust-up at the Jolie-Pitt family’s Miraval estate.
Poupot said she didn’t know how long the paparazzi had been on the chateau grounds or further details about the “altercation with the guards.”
“One can imagine that if you discover someone in your garden who is taking your photo then you’re not necessarily going to politely show them the way out,” she said.
Seriously, no offense to Brad and Angelina, but what is so goddamn special about getting photos of their babies? Just take a picture of some newborns at the hospital AND NOBODY WOULD KNOW THE DIFFERENCE. Is there something someone’s not telling me? Do these kids have tails? No, wait, unicorn horns! I bet that’s it; holy shit, yes! Where’s my camo paint?UPDATE: Mission aborted. Lost a leg in the piranha pit after Maddox punched me in. Though it was pretty funny when he said “You cheat, Dr. Jones!” Best $5 I ever spent - until all the leg eating.
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July 27th, 2008
Here’s British singer Heidi Range of Sugababes (I have no clue.) at Miami Beach with her sister Hayley. Apparently Heidi feels she needs constant security while wearing a bikini. That’s pretty narcissistic of somebody I had to look up on Wikipedia and is rocking the Kim Kardashian sarong maneuver. I mean, really, nobody needs a bodyguard while they’re at the beach. Except me and because of the jellyfish.
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July 27th, 2008
