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I’m no physicist, but with the combined density of Kim Kardashian’s ass and breasts (which act as counterweights), how does she not have her own gravitational pull and/or break through the Earth’s crust with every step? Get me a room full of scientists writing equations on a chalkboard STAT. I want this conundrum solved post haste along with a theorem that makes women take off their pants whenever I say a magic word.

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