Archive for August 16th, 2008

Celeb News: Lindsay Lohan’s friends: ‘She’ll never quit the penis’


Lindsay Lohan has an undying love of the cock. Or at least that’s what her friends are telling OK! Magazine. Sure, maybe they didn’t use those exact words, but I dare you to draw a different conclusion. No, scratch that. I DOUBLE DOG DARE YOU!:

Apparently LiLo has already been flirting with guys, and cracks seem to be appearing in the relationship. On August 5 at the Delano Hotel’s Florida Room, Lindsay, 22, cozied up to other men whenever Sam left her side.
“Lindsay was laughing and giggling with these guys,” an eyewitness tells OK!.“Lindsay is the aggressive one in the relationship,” an insider tells OK!. “Sam tries to focus on Lindsay, but it’s never enough.” Another friend adds, “Lindsay has to be the center of attention, or she’ll flirt with other guys to make Sam jealous.”
Lindsay’s friend says, “She’ll be with the next guy who catches her eye — she can’t help it!”

Oh yeah, Lindsay Lohan’s playing this one real smart by flirting with other guys. Because Samantha Ronson doesn’t look at all like the jealous Single White Female-type who will stab you in your sleep. She wears a fedora, people!

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Gossip: Amy Winehouse still walks among the living


A surprisingly immune to overdose Amy Winehouse went on her daily drinking binge last night and in the process managed to assault an innocent bystander. Apparently an older woman was concerned for Amy’s health and stopped to talk to her. Fearing that her drugs might be in danger, Amy’s survival instincts kicked in, according to The Sun:

Amy lashed out at the middle-aged woman – giving her a hard slap and screaming: “Let f***ing go of me, d***head.”
As she walked away, Amy carried on shouting at her victim, calling her a “f***ing bitch”.

Amy then quickly scaled a fire escape where she attempted to breast feed a bag of crack. British authorities are calling it “the most heinous act of terror since that time Amy peed on a fire hydrant.”Thanks to Helena who reminds everyone that Amy Winehouse won’t enter your house unless you invite her in. Also, she can’t cross bodies of water so, HA, England! In your face!

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Gossip: Kerri Walsh wants AIDS to ‘butt’ out (Don Draper, I just made you look like clown shoes.)

0815_kerri_walsh_AIDS_00.JPGOlympic athlete and women’s volleyball competitor Kerri Walsh has wisely decided her ass is a veritable weapon in the fight against HIV/AIDS infection. I want everyone to know I’m “behind” this cause. Hi-OH! But, no, seriously, if I make a donation do I at least get to touch the butt and/or bounce a quarter off it? What if I just sort of run past it and graze it with my hand? I’m willing to post date as many checks as it takes to get this thing done. You know, because I care deeply about whatever it is your cause was again. Sea lions?

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