In what will initially be considered a surprisingly fast turnaround until you see the final product, Heidi Montag’s video for “Overdosin’” has been released and JESUS H. CORNELIUS CHRIST! I’m not gonna lie; I turned the audio off about ten seconds in which, in hindsight, was a bad move. I ended up running outside and paying the neighbor kid’s to throw broken glass in my eyes. Fortunately, one of them agreed to finish typing this post for me while I dictate poop burgers I’m a Transformer and smell my own butt.Video after the jump.
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August 26th, 2008
Paris Hilton unveiled her latest product “The Bandit” this weekend which is, surprisingly, not a giant vibrator shaped like the Hamburglar. I’m as shocked as you are. That said, these launch photos will no doubt be the smoking gun in the mysterious case of “Holy crap, my pee is burning me.”
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August 26th, 2008
Katie Holmes is currently rehearsing for the Broadway revival of All My Sons. But it turns out she’s not much of a box-office draw. Why? Old people have no idea who the hell she is, according to Star:
Although some people blame the economy, other Broadway shows — like Mamma Mia — are selling out.
“It did not sell like they had hoped for,” a Broadway insider tells Star. “To the theatergoing crowd, generally an older audience, Katie’s not a ‘name’ like Julia Roberts, whose run in Three Days of Rain sold out immediately. Katie hasn’t done anything Broadway patrons recognize her for — except maybe marrying Tom Cruise.”
Since I know old people freaking love the Internet and read this site daily between downloading episodes of Murder, She Wrote, I’m going to help Katie out: The Superficial’s Guide for Seniors on Who the Dickety is Katherine HolmesKatherine “Katie” Holmes is an American actress who sacrificed her promising career to marry once-legendary actor turned alien worshiper Tom Cruise in an effort to disguise his homosexuality. Sort of like Liberace but way, way more obvious.Oh, and one time she totally showed some boob in The Gift. It was awesome.The End.
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August 26th, 2008
