There’s been a lot of political tension these days: Red vs. Blue. Logic and reason vs. abstinence-only education. So, I felt it was time for some neutrality. And you can’t get more neutral than the Swiss which brings us to international supermodel Michelle Hunziker in a bikini whose butt is practically a beacon for world peace. It’s moments like this when I realize I should work for the U.N. I would solve shit!
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September 3rd, 2008
Julia Roberts took her kids to Hawaii for the Labor Day weekend and also got her bikini on. What you can’t see in the background is terrified vacationers searching for pineapples to squeeze in their eyes. It was sort of like Pearl Harbor all over again - but with breasts.
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September 3rd, 2008
Christina Aguilera took her breasts out for a walk today while visiting in New York City. Last night she cleverly used infant son Max Liron to ward off paparazzi. I feel sorry for the kid but not because he’s a human shield. The little tyke must sit around all day staring at his parents, thinking “How the hell do I even exist? These two? Intercourse? Ha! I’m adopted. Oh, shit, she’s trying to suffocate me with her chest balloons again. For the last time I’m lactose intoler- help! Oxygen low… Brain cells fading… NASCAR suddenly more interesting….”
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September 3rd, 2008
