Since it’s Friday and there’s a serious celeb bikini drought going on, The Superficial is officially honoring the start of the NFL season by posting pics of the Lingerie Football League. After a week of intense political debate, I felt like we needed to come together as a nation. And I think we can all agree it doesn’t get more patriotic than chicks in lingerie tossing the ol’ pigskin. Unless, of course, Sarah Palin gave Uncle Sam a lap dance on top of the Liberty Bell then, honestly, you got me there.
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September 5th, 2008
Lindsay Lohan has turned down a $700,000 offer to do an eight-page spread for Playboy. She doesn’t want to do the whole nude thing again because, clearly, she’s a terrorist. Someone had to say it. Page Six reports:
“If there’s nudity, then the answer’s no . . . She’s not going down the [New York] magazine road again,” Lohan’s rep told Playboy’s creative consultant, Hal Lifson, referring to Lindsay’s naked Marilyn Monroe tribute last winter. Lifson said he hoped to have Lohan do a tribute to ’60s sex kitten Ann-Margret and her film “Kitten With a Whip.”
I guess Lindsay is content with her freckle-laded Marilyn Monroe shoot and doesn’t want to look, I dunno, awesome and airbrushed. Why do you hate erections so much, Lindsay Lohan?! Oh, right, you’re a “lesbian” now. Ha ha ha! But, seriously, why do you hate them?
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September 5th, 2008
It turns out Lynne Spears did not send Bristol Palin $60 pink burpcloths on behalf of Jamie Lynn. I don’t see why Lynne bothered denying the report because even a cynical bastard like myself thought it was a nice gesture. Until I remembered I have a penis then went around punching everyone within eyesight in the face. TOUGH GUY! E! News reports:
“I just got off the phone with Lynne. I can tell you that she hasn’t sent her any gifts, but that she does support Sarah and, of course, can empathize with their situation,” Curt Handling, Spears’ publicist at the Thomas Nelson publishing company, tells E! News.
It’s a damn shame. No fancy burpcloths for America’s favorite politically-polarizing pregnant teen. I guess Bristol Palin will have to wipe her baby’s spit the old fashioned way: With moose antlers or the hull of an oil tanker.
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September 5th, 2008
