I’m actually surprised to be writing this post because, for a while there, Britney Spears was on a one-woman crusade against undergarments and physical fitness. But it’s amazing what simply wearing a bra can do. In fact, I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I think I love Britney Spears’ breasts. Ha ha! Wow, that’s exhilarating. It’s sort of like jumping out of a plane. I love Britney Spears’ breasts, everybody! WOO-HOO! But, in all seriousness, I hope Britney Spears appreciates my enthusiasm. There’s no greater compliment you can give a woman than “Hey, nice rack.” Chivalry: it’s what’s for dinner.
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September 20th, 2008
It’s official: Spencer Pratt has no shame. I can’t say it enough, whenever I look these two assclowns posing like they just won the Special Olympics, I say a little prayer that Heidi Montag is still a virgin. C’mon, what could be a bigger kick in the balls than being photographed getting a manicure then going home to jerk off in a sock while your girlfriend parades around the house in an “I <3 Jesus” bikini? If this is intelligent design, I’m warming up to it.
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September 20th, 2008
Pamela Anderson attended the Vivienne Westwood Red Label event in London last night with some dude in a weird mask. I have no clue. Anyway, apparently wanting to smother the crowd in an avalanche of breast, Pam decided to wear a push-up bra which brings me to my final question for the weekend: Is there such a thing as too much cleavage? My penis tells me “No” while my need for oxygen tells me “Huh? I wasn’t paying attention.” Discuss.
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September 20th, 2008
