Audrina Patridge hosted an event for Bombay Sapphire in Vegas over the weekend proving she’s the only pure and decent thing to come out of The Hills. Audrina grasps the concept that nobody wants to hear her talk. Ever. Not even if the sound of her voice is the antidote for cancer. Just smile, wear a bikini then wait for your fleeting relevancy to be replaced by the next 21-year-old with implants whose banging an MTV producer. Audrina Patridge, we salute you! Keep on truckin’!Thanks to Marcine for knowing the key to my heart: Gin.
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September 30th, 2008
Jennifer Aniston continues her vacation in Los Cabos, Mexico, and she should probably start posing for the paparazzi because, damn, are they getting some unflattering shots. It’s almost as if the majority of Jennifer’s body is defying age except her stomach. Which obviously gave up and said “Hey, I wanna look like your grandpa.”NOTE: Jennifer Aniston completely making my words a moot point here, and I’m pretty sure that’s the entrance to Narnia.
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September 30th, 2008
If you thought the recent Wall Street crash was bad (How ’bout that Dow today?), talk to Hugh Hefner: It’s costing him pussy. The recent credit crunch has forced the Playboy founder to reduce staff which fully, 100%, without a shadow of a doubt because they’re prostitutes explains why Kendra Wilkinson (above), Holly Madison and Bridgett Marquardt are jumping ship. The Daily Telegraph reports:
The 83-year-old has been told to lay off some of his staff at his Los Angeles and New York offices as soon as this month or go bankrupt.
The company has recently seen shares fall from £6.20 to £1.55. An insider at the company told the Daily Star that bosses had been aware of the worsening situation for “a while”.
“Only the top brass has known for a while how bad things have been for Hef recently.”
Spokeswoman Elizabeth Austin would not confirm the sackings, saying: “It is our policy not to comment on corporate matters such as employee issues.”
If Hugh Hefner, of all people, dies old and alone without giant fake breasts in his face, then my God, what hope is there for the rest of us? Damn you, stock market. DAMN YOU TO HELL!Thanks to Josh who still dreams of having a stripper dance on his open casket.
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September 30th, 2008
