What does it say about me as a person that, if Katie Price was selling cyanide capsules, I’d probably buy an entire case and pop them like candy? Besides that I’m awesome and people are genuinely surprised when they learn I don’t drive a battleship to work.
Add comment November 20th, 2008
Jennifer Garner is a pretty smart mom. She’s read all the books and knows there’s one thing to definitely avoid during pregnancy: A crazed lunatic who claims to hear directly from God. (Sarah Palin?) Which is why she recently filed a restraining order against the man who’s been stalking her since 2002, according to Star:
In papers filed in Los Angeles Superior Court on Nov. 7, the mom-to-be asks for protection against Steven R. Burky, 36, who she alleges has “engaged in obsessive and harassing behavior, posting about me on the Internet, sending me multiple packages and letters containing delusional and paranoid thoughts and following me around the country, through multiple states, to make contact with me.”
Jennifer’s sworn affidavit states that Burky has shown up at her private residence — where she lives with hubby Ben Affleck and their 2-year-old, Violet — and said that “God sent him a vision” that the actress would be persecuted in a way that could result in her death.
Why do stalkers always seem to have a shitload of frequent flier miles? This guy apparently followed Jennifer Garner “around the country, through multiple states.” Jesus. Do you know the last time I went on vacation? I was eight. And it wasn’t so much a vacation as my dad telling me that mowing the yard was this “Disney Land” all my friends were talking about. It wasn’t. But I did get bit by a snake and hallucinated Goofy stabbed him with the hedge clippers. Ha ha! That’s not how you give someone a handshake.EDIT: Added a pic of Crazy Crazystein along with copies of some of the letters he sent Jennifer Garner. In case you want to make your own stalker letters at home with a friend.
Add comment November 20th, 2008
Mischa Barton recently launched her new website and in the clip above gave a nice little shout-out to yours truly. Mischa, I hope you didn’t just write a check your breasts can’t cash. No, seriously, my brother works for a collection agency.UPDATE: If I call him at work again, he’s telling mom. Damn. You win this round, Mischa Barton. This round…
Add comment November 20th, 2008
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