Here’s Paris Hilton celebrating New Year’s Eve at The Bongo Virus party in Sydney. Hold on, she’s in the future already?! Jesus, how did this happen? Aw man, she’s going to get VD all over 2009 before we even get there. Guess I better start practicing having it burn when I pee. Anyone got a lighter?Happy New Year! I think. Goddammit, Paris…
Add comment December 31st, 2008
Eva Longoria is happy wife as she loves her hubby Tony Parker alot.
She says, “I’m the gardener, I definitely nurture. Tony is the flower.
But there are times when Tony takes care of me in an emotional sense. But I
love to take care of him. I’m really a very 50s housewife.“I love having dinner ready and making sure his clothes are ironed and that
he’s packed and ready when he goes on road trips.”
Tony is quite lucky to have Eva!!
Add comment December 31st, 2008
These are pics of Prince Harry and his girlfriend Chelsy Davy vacationing on the island of Mauritius. Man, if I were in the royal family, I’d knight my own penis then chivalrously have my way with everything from Big Ben to the Queen of England. I mean, sure, Chelsy is alright, I guess. But does she tell time on top of Parliament or look like my grandmother? Then I bid you “nay.” Sir Cockerton of PantsHugely demands satisfaction! Here here!
Add comment December 31st, 2008
Tony Romo asked for Jessica Simpson after collapsing in the Cowboys shower room from popped cartilage in his ribs. TMZ reports:
As if totally choking in the biggest game of the season weren’t bad enough, Tony Romo had to have Jessica “Yoko” Simpson rush to his side to help him with a little popped-out cartilage.
In Tony Romo’s defense if I thought I was dying, I’d be crying for my girlfriend’s insane cleavage too.TONY: Oh, God, bring me Jessica. I need Jessica!COACH: All we have is a can of Campbell’s Chunky Soup with two water balloons taped to it.TONY: That’ll work.
Add comment December 30th, 2008
Sarah Palin’s unwed teenage daughter Bristol Palin gave birth to a baby boy Saturday, according to People:
“We think it’s wonderful,” said Colleen Jones, the sister of Bristol’s grandmother Sally Heath, who confirmed the news. “The baby is fine and Bristol is doing well. Everyone is excited.”
The baby’s name is Tripp Easton Mitchell Johnston and he was born at 5:30 a.m., according to Jones.
Tripp? Seriously? I don’t get why Bristol’s being subtle. She might as well name her son “Hey, mom, I smoke my face off and have unprotected sex with my redneck boyfriend every time you’re at church.” I mean, it’s Sarah Palin we’re talking about here. She’s just gonna call the kid a “Maverick” then give him a handgun to play with. “Aw, is there anything more adorable? *BAM* That dog was getting old anyway. *BAM* Hey, it’s not like I can’t remarry. *BAM* Oh, boy, I get to meet Jesus!”
Add comment December 30th, 2008
- Jennifer Lopez, despite rumors to the contrary, is not getting a divorce, according to her rep. Oh, well, if her rep says so, then it must be true. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to get one of these rep people to tell a child support judge I’ve been sterile my entire life. Infallible logic wins again! [E! Online]- Jessica Simpson’s boyfriend Dallas quarterback Tony Romo collapsed in the shower after suffering a rib injury in yesterday’s game against the Eagles. At this time, I’d like to point out to Jessica Simpson that all my ribs are in working order. Just putting it out there on the off-chance she learned to read recently. Ha, who am I kidding? [ESPN]- Chris Martin can apparently walk among us normal folks without being recognized. Seems no one knows who the Coldplay singer is despite the fact he bangs Gwyneth Paltrow. I’m failing to see the problem here. Does he want people to know he diddles a woman who’s one Pilates class away from looking from Madonna? I’d keep that on the down-low, Jim. It’s Chris? Okay, sure. [Page Six]- Oprah Winfrey has been duped by another memoir writer. After raving over Holocaust survivor Herman Rosenblat’s novel Angel on the Fence about meeting his wife in a concentration camp, the story has been debunked and pulled off bookshelves. Which is great, just great. Now who’s going to pitch my memoir Yes, Ladies, It’s That Big, Shoots Diamonds, Gives Back Rubs and Knows How to Maximize Deductions for the Tax Return You Deserve! Sonofa…. [TMZ]
Add comment December 30th, 2008
Here’s photos of pop singer Katy Perry on vacation in Mexico. I really don’t know anything about her, but suddenly I feel like she’s the greatest vocal talent on Earth. Call it a hunch. Call it intuition. Call it sheer cunning, but there’s just something about this woman that says boobs. Er, talent. – - No, boobs.
Add comment December 29th, 2008
EVa Longoria Parker is desperate housewife as she is desperate to have kids with hubby Tony Parker.
She said to a mag, “We can’t’’ wait to start a family.”
“I’m so excited about that chapter in our lives and you’ll know what it happens.”
Eva insists that even after an year of marriage, she and Tony still behave and feel like newly wed couple.
She says, “After one year you’re not called newlyweds, but we still feel like we got married yesterday.”
“Married life agrees with me because I’m very traditional and I’m very domestic and Tony is the same way.”
Add comment December 29th, 2008
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