Archive for December 7th, 2008

Celeb Gossip: Madonna gives Guy Ritchie huge chunk of money out of spite


Despite claims that Guy Ritchie will walk away from his divorce with none of Madonna’s money, he is reportedly getting a $64 million payoff to let her keep their London home and sign away any claims to her $600 million fortune. News of the World reports:

But a source revealed: “He is getting one lump sum imminently. Guy wanted to stay in their London home but Madonna refused to split it in two, and eventually gave him £12 million as compensation. She decided early on that he should get Ashcombe.
“Guy’s ducked out of fighting over her fortune, even though he could be entitled to a big chunk.” A friend of Madonna said last night: “She is fed- up at reports that Guy is walking away with no money—she has sorted his finances for life.”

Let me get this straight: Madonna is tired of Guy Ritchie saying he’s not taking her money, so she threw $64 million at him to piss him off. – - Damn, she’s figured it out. Alright, ladies, I didn’t want to do this, but since Madonna cracked the code, it’s time to come clean. If you really want to get your man back, nothing will piss him off more than $64 million in cold hard cash. We fucking hate that. Sorry, fellas, the cat’s out of the bag. Those crafty women have outsmarted us again because they can be doctors, too, and don’t look fat in those jeans, Beautiful.

Photos: Splash News

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Gossip: Kevin Federline should use his Britney-money on a gym membership


Kevin Federline took a mystery woman out last night, and look, I don’t want to say he’s gotten fat. But I do want to say “Run, bitch, RUN! Holy shit, can’t you tell he ate the last one!? Free shoes are not worth your life, lady! RUN!”That said, do you think Britney’s jealous? Not because Kevin’s dating or anything, but because he can let himself go without his dad, manager, record label and the state of California locking him in the garage with a sprig of celery for five days. No, seriously, who does she have to kill for a pudding pie around here?

Photos: Flynet

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Celeb News: Adrian Grenier or Tom Cruise?


Today’s battle for your nether-regions pits fictional movie star Vinnie Chase against fictional movie star Tom Cruise. (Not a typo.) For the sake of this experiment, we’re going to take some bold leaps and assume Tom is not just trying to convert you to Scientology with his tiny loving, and Adrian Grenier has showered in the past 24 hours. Or you can piss in the face of science and scream “Hugh Jackman!” It’s a free country. Ready GO!

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