Archive for December 10th, 2008
Apparently, playing a stripper is this year’s retarded person, and quite frankly, it’s about time. Marisa Tomei takes her turn on the pole in The Wrestler, and she extensively researched her role by watching episodes of Rock of Love with Bret Michaels. Because, honestly, where else will you find a more concentrated resource of strippers? Besides under my bed. The Sun reports:
She said: “I had a friend who is a yoga teacher and she does a lot of pole dancing so I asked her to teach me. I went to a lot of clubs and watched to see the different styles of dancing.
“I would practice in a dance room with a bar and a mirror, like a ballet studio. I watched Rock of Love, that reality show with Bret Michaels, where he’s trying to get a wife and they’re all strippers. That was my closest association to the actual world of it.”
Jessica Biel, after seeing your recent work, I hope you’re taking notes from Marisa here. She has an Oscar and knows a thing or two about this acting schtick. As Marisa demonstrates, if you’re going to play a stripper, there are two crucial components to an effective performance: 1. Toplessness. Not showing your breasts is like playing a pirate and not putting a sword between his teeth. Where’s the authenticity?2. Questionable hygiene. I don’t know about you, but when I get a lap dance, I better be quietly thinking about burning my pants when I get home. That’s called “showmanship.” (Write that down.)So remember, Jessica, a great stripper performance is like a fine wine – but with breasts and probably the clap. Words to live by.NOTE: Pics link to NSFW versions of Oscar gold.
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December 10th, 2008
The day’s events:- Fran Drescher campaigning for Hillary Clinton’s open senate seat. In related news, Fran Drescher is alive! [People]- Jay Leno signs on for a Tonight Show-esque program on NBC at 10 PM. Meanwhile, Conan O’Brien does a Fuck You-esque motion towards network execs. [New York Times]- Mariah Carey reportedly seen holding a sonogram outside doctor’s office and celebrating. Nobody thought she could steal it, but Ha! What now, bitches? [Page Six]- Paula Abdul claims stalker wanted to kill her. Whoa, wait, stalkers don’t want to kill. They just want to watch your soul escape through the knife wound in your abdomen. God, read a book. [TMZ]
Photos: WENN
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December 10th, 2008
Turns out Tila Tequila has found a way to transcribe her shrill leprechaun speak into words. These are shots of Tila at a Manhattan Barnes & Noble to sign/read her opus Hooking Up with Tila Tequila: A Guide to Love, Fame, Happiness, Success, and Being the Life of the Party. From Amazon:
The ways to celebrity are myriad, but in just two years, Tila Tequila has quite possibly become THE symbol of stardom in today’s digital age. With upwards of three million MySpace pals and thanks to MTV’s A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila, the twenty-six-year-old sexy siren has become nothing less than a cultural icon. Tila’s taboo-bending lack of inhibition has made her a trailblazer for the times, and there’s no signs of slowing down this feisty four-foot-eleven wild child whose combination of sex appeal and accessibility has made her popularity unparalleled.
Hooking Up with Tila Tequila takes an exclusive and entertaining look beyond the virtual pin-up — past the mischievous glint in her eye and sultry curve of her hip — to the real-life Tila. In her own outrageously candid words, she tackles a variety of subjects from making it big to getting what you want in bed — and out of it! Also included are real questions from her millions of fans, and Tila’s unique brand of truthful advice, as she says, “Tequila-style.” Filled with stunning never-before-seen photographs from Tila’s private collection, Hooking Up with Tila Tequila delivers the scoop on everything her fans want to know — and reveals the true story of how a fearless and determined Vietnamese ex-model used the Internet to earn the recognition that most people only dream about.
So how far did you make it? I got to “Tequila-style” before vomiting blood and shoving a pen in my eye. Feel free to use that on the paperback, Tila.
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December 10th, 2008
