Here’s supermodel Elle Macpherson in a bikini at Sydney Harbor on Sunday. If you don’t know who Elle Macpherson is, congratulations, I’m old. That said, remember the episode of Friends when Elle was Joey’s roommate time I built a Ferrari with a chainsaw then sucker punched a grizzly bear after making love to a beautiful woman? Chandler was so jealous! Chandler was so jealous!
Add comment December 29th, 2008
New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady reportedly proposed to supermodel Gisele Bundchen on a private plane Christmas Eve, according to TMZ:
Our sources say Brady, who is famous for his QB skills and running errands for Gisele, proposed on a private jet that took off from Teterboro Airport in New Jersey and landed in Boston. There were four dozen white roses on board, as well as champagne.
However, Tom’s dad is telling the Boston Globe there is no engagement:
“We don’t know a thing about it,” Tom’s dad told us yesterday. “Nobody told me. We talked to him and there’s nothing to say. It’s rumor, rumor, rumor. It must be a slow news day.”
Of course, Tom’s dad could just be creating smoke and mirrors, so I better have sex with Gisele Bundchen just to be sure – and for the sake of journalism. Because, dammit, the people have a right to know! God, I’m selfless.
Add comment December 28th, 2008
When a father sees his little girl overcoming adversity to become a superstar, his heart fills with unimaginable pride and joy. Except for Jamie Spears who did that shit the first time and would prefer his joy in the form of greenbacks. The AP reports:
Jamie Spears had been receiving $10,000 a month for his work, but Los Angeles Superior Court Commissioner Reva Goetz increased that amount to approximately $16,000 per month and agreed to give him backpay.
He was also granted an additional $1,200 monthly payment so he can maintain an office, which Goetz said was justified by his work getting his daughter’s personal life — and music career — back on track.
So, by my math, Jamie Spears is now pulling in an annual salary of $894,000 $206,400 (It’s early!) for making sure his 26-year-old daughter wears underwear. I gotta get me a special kid. Any ladies out there have a uterus I can borrow for eight to nine months? Here are the terms:1. Greatest minute or less of your life!2. No child support.3. Guarantee that if child doesn’t grow up to be a superstar, we’ll tell her she’s adopted then send her on a quest to find her birth parents. And by we I mean you. I’ll be in Reno explaining to bookies how my baby mama couldn’t even land a record deal, so please don’t break my fingers.Sound awesome? Hell yeah it does! American Dream, here we come!
Add comment December 28th, 2008
You’re nothing in this world without good friends. Just ask my stuffed animal collection. Or Brody Jenner. Who’s wicked-psyched for his Hills castmate Whitney Port and her new show, and he wants her and the rest of the world to know it. Even though it sort of makes her his competition. Which would traditionally call for a knife fight. Regular Mother Teresa, that guy. But less wimpy. Man, it would be so cool to be Brody Jenner’s friend. He’d probably let you scratch your back with his beard stubble when it itches. That would be awesome. Or at least marginally better than drinking a milkshake laced with the ebola virus. I’m pretty certain. Check out Brody’s shout-out to Whitney Port. It’ll fill you with a warm glow like nothing else can this holiday season. Or at least it won’t bum you out as much as that time you accidentally licked gravy from between a homeless guy’s toes. It would probably be a good idea to drop him a line at BrodyJenner.com and let him know what a pillar of graciousness he is. The world owes him that much.
Add comment December 28th, 2008
X-Factor winner Alexandra Burke is on a high these days as she is all set to hit the stage with super singer Beyonce Knowles.
A source says, “Beyoncé was blown away by Alex.
“She thought she had exceptional talent and told her so during their rehearsal for last week’s performance of Listen.
“In the dressing room, Beyoncé told Alex she’d like to work with her in the future and suggested the possibility of recording a new single together. She also said she’d love Alex to take part in her UK tour, possibly as a support act, although nothing is set in stone yet.
“After their duet last week Beyoncé then told X Factor supremo SIMON COWELL ‘I want to work with this lady. She is going to be a massive star’.
“Alex couldn’t believe what she hearing.
“Beyoncé is one of her all-time heroes and to be given her approval is like a dream come true.
“Beyoncé was outstanding and really helped Alex shine.”
Good job Beyonce 
Add comment December 27th, 2008
Whitney Port is moving on from The Hills to spread her wings on her own show, The City (please, hold your tears; your grief can be expressed at WhitneyPort.com), which will chronicle her adventures as she takes up in New York City. What will she do there? Judging from that thing that’s perched on her head, she’ll probably fight crime. At least that’s what I would do. You can bet I’d strike fear into the hearts of New York’s hardened criminals, too, in my Rainbow Brite underoos as I patrolled the streets with my Plunger of Justice. Whitney probably has something similarly cool up her sleeve. At any rate, she promises that people will get to see “the real me.” *Sniff*; someday people will see the real me, too. If they know what’s good for them.
Add comment December 27th, 2008
The Jennifer Lopez/Marc Anthony divorce rumors have been piling up ever since the couple stopped wearing their wedding rings a few months back. This latest one from Page Six finds a suspicious J-Lo spying on Marc Anthony:
Despite the fact that the couple renewed its vows in October, a source tells Page Six that Lopez used to send her assistant on tour with Anthony while she stayed at home with their twins. “She wanted reports back so he didn’t cheat on her,” says our source.
Jennifer Lopez is worried that Marc Anthony is cheating on her. Has she even looked at her husband lately? I mean, for more than five seconds before bursting into tears. Then again, there is a single Latin-man-hungry Madonna on the loose. Together they could form their army of undead skeleton soldiers – who will dance you into the night! Bailamos! Let the rhythm take you over! Bailamos!Okay, maybe that was Enrique Inglesias. Someone brought in egg-nog today. (This guy!)
Add comment December 27th, 2008
- Tina Fey & Alec Baldwin have started openly feuding on the set of 30 Rock. In related news, I just settled a bet with myself to see if I could post the most boring gossip item ever. I win! [Star] – Heidi & Spencer’s now admittedly fake courthouse wedding was an elaborate ploy to promote their upcoming real wedding. It’s almost like somebody wrote these events down on pieces of paper and provided lines for those involved to say at the appropriate time. I think there’s a word for that: Bullshit. [E! Online]- Michael Jackson is not in dire need of a lung transplant. Unless it’s at a children’s hospital, then he’ll take two. [Us]- Kate Winslet’s husband director Sam Mendes had a hard time watching filming her love scenes with Leonardo DiCaprio in Revolutionary Road. Apparently, the actor kept banging her head against the kitchen cabinets. So, wait there’s something wrong with that? I should probably write this down. “Easy on cabinetry. Egg beater still kosher…” [Page Six]
Add comment December 26th, 2008
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