Here’s Shauna Sand on Miami Beach giving the most seductive look I’ve ever seen on any woman. How do you resist that? Sure, humping a lawn chair would probably feel exactly the same and require way less effort, but never underestimate the beauty of a permanent Spock eyebrow which you’ll now notice in every single shot. You’re welcome.
Add comment January 24th, 2009
Tom Cruise is on a media blitzkrieg to win back his female fans who he alienated after his public criticism of Brooke Shields taking medication for postpartum depression. Here are the bad habits Tom’s PR people are hoping he’ll kick to reel in the vagina crowd, according to Star:- No talking about Scientology.- No wearing sunglasses on the red carpet.- No showing up to premieres in fancy cars.- Appear on women-friendly shows like The View. “It’s all very calculated.”- No man-handling the Katie. At least in public. “Tom needs to quit grabbing her arm and pulling her around. The idea is to make him the kinder, gentler Tom, not a controlling husband with a Stepford wife.”Ladies, be honest with me. If Tom Cruise played beach volleyball topless on a jet while showering you with Tiffany jewelry, would you believe he’s not going to chain you to the dishwasher then hit on your brother after a free E-Meter reading? Of course not. Which is why the career Hail Mary, Top Gun 2, better have a T-Rex fight an F-16. I rest my case.
Add comment January 24th, 2009
Kanye West took to his blog to deny false reports that he is open to doing bisexual porn. His argument? The freshness of his suit above. You can’t make this shit up:
YOOOO WHY WON’T YOU LET ME BE GREAT!!! I HAD THE TWO GREATEST DAYS OF MY LIFE AND WHEN I GET BACK FROM THE LOUIE SHOW I READ SOME SHIT CLAIMING I SAID I’M DOWN TO DO PORN AND SOME BISEXUAL PORN!!!! I CAN’T BELIEVE THE AVN WOULD POST FIRST PEOPLE BELIEVED THE TWITTER/STEVEN COLBERT THING, ROLLING STONE EVEN PRINTED IT!!!! NOW SOMEBODY HAS BEEN HACKING INTO MY MYSPACE AND SOMEBODY’S ACTUALLY HACKED INTO MY PERSONAL GMAIL ACCOUNT AND HAS BEEN EMAILING PEOPLE FROM IT… HEY WORLD I NO LONGER HAVE A GMAIL! I FOUND OUT I HAD TWELVE UNAUTHORIZED SKYPE ACCOUNTS UNDER MY NAME!!! THIS ALL IN THE PAST FOUR DAYS. WELCOME TO KANYE WEST WORLD! …. IT’S NOT OFFICIAL. I JUST GAVE THE PERFORMANCE OF MY LIFETIME FOR OUR NEW PRESIDENT … THEN I FLEW TO PARIS AND THEY DEBUTED MY NEW SHOES THAT I DESIGNED WITH LOUIE VUITTON WHICH WAS A DREAM COME TRUE. PLEASE I BEG YOU, GIVE ME A BREAK!!!!! PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LET ME BE GREAT!!! WHO HAVE I HURT SO BAD THAT THEY WANT TO DESTROY ME? WHO HAVE I EVER SPOKE ABOUT SO NEGATIVELY? I JUST WAS SPEAKING WITH OUR NEW PRESIDENT TWO DAYS AGO… AND NOW THIS…. SIDEBAR… NEVER TAKE A PICTURE FROM MY OBAMA PERFORMANCE AND PUT IT NEXT TO A BS QUOTE LIKE THAT! THAT’S IN POOR TASTE! THAT UNDERMINES WHAT MY CONTRIBUTION TO THAT EVENT WAS AND SLAPS EVERYBODY WHO FELT UPLIFTED BY THAT PERFORMANCE IN THE FACE! A PICTURE SAYS A THOUSAND WORDS… LOOK HOW FRESH MY SUIT IS… NUFF SAID!
So, basically, an attack on Kanye’s suit is an attack on America? Then call me a terrorist because what the fuck are you talking about?! Also, here’s something that’s great: The “Shift” key. Not only does it make your shit legible, but it doesn’t perpetuate horrible stereotypes. Seriously, your typing is a slap in the face to anyone who is uplifted by the Internet’s ability to provide people of all colors that South Park video where Stan’s dad yells “OBAMA!” Nuff said.
Add comment January 24th, 2009
| S | M | T | W | T | F | S |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| « Dec | Feb » | |||||
| 1 | 2 | 3 | ||||
| 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 |
| 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 |
| 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 |
| 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 |
