Archive for January, 2009
Seen here in, admittedly, the best shape I’ve ever seen her in, Kim Kardashian is the latest celebrity to defend Jessica Simpson whose startling plumpness has become our nation’s greatest crisis. Not counting that war and the stuff with the money. In a move that just sent Jessica teetering off the edge to depression, Kim gave an interview for People which they described as “one curvy girl to another”:
“I actually love the outfit. I think she looks amazing. I love high-waisted jeans, I loved that belt, and her hair looked fabulous.”
Adds Kardashian, who’s attending the Super Bowl this weekend with football player beau Reggie Bush of the New Orleans Saints, “I get that she does look curvier, but to me, there’s nothing wrong it.”
No stranger herself to barbs about her own curvy physique, Kardashian says, “It doesn’t really bother me anymore. I love curves. Being super skinny just isn’t attractive to me. When I saw that picture, I knew everyone was going to say something. And I thought, ‘You know what? Leave Jessica alone!’ She’s fabulous, she’s a really sweet girl, and I admire her for putting up with it.”
PEOPLE EDITOR #1: Quick, who’s a celeb that will basically let us call her fat just by asking her opinion on Jessica Simpson in exchange for free pub-EDITOR #2: Kim Kardashian.EDITOR #1: Oh, good call.
Photos: WENN
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January 29th, 2009
While she waits for her adoption papers to clear, Megan Fox has been given a golden opportunity to replace Angelina Jolie thus delaying her plans to eventually stab the Oscar winning actress and eat her soul to complete the transformation. Too scientific? My bad. Long story short, Megan Fox is up for the role of Lara Croft in a new Tomb Raider film. E! News reports:
According to the Hollywood Reporter, the third film will completely reboot the video-game-based character, including changing her origin story (most likely shying away from her English aristocracy roots), and introduce new kinds of missions, love interests and villains.
And, most notably, a new leading lady.
While producers say an actress likely won’t be cast until a writer and director have signed on, Fox has emerged as the frontrunner replacement, at least as far as the blogosphere is concerned.
I had no idea a pair of implants and tattoos could be so effective. That gives me an idea….UPDATE: So, apparently, getting a Yosemite Sam tattoo does not make you a suitable replacement for Hugh Jackman. I don’t even know how to describe how messed up that is. Seriously, Hollywood, you’re just being weird now.
Photos: Getty
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January 28th, 2009
Jessica Alba took to her MySpace blog today to defend telling a TMZ reporter to “Be Sweden … Be neutral” about her feud with Bill O’Reilly. (She called him an “asshole.”) TMZ and Big Bill decided to rip on Jessica for not saying Switzerland until she pulled a little Wikipedia action on their asses:
Hey Guys,
Jay_eh here. I wanted to share with everyone in the ibeatyou and MySpace communities my experiences at the inauguration last week, so I put together a little video.
Before I get to the video, I want to clear some things up that have been bothering me lately. I find it depressing that in the midst of perhaps the most salient time in our country’s history, individuals are taking it upon themselves to encourage negativity and stupidity. Last week, Mr. Bill O’Reilly and some really classy sites (i.e.TMZ) insinuated I was dumb by claiming Sweden was a neutral country. I appreciate the fact that he is a news anchor and that gossip sites are inundated with intelligent reporting, but seriously people…it’s so sad to me that you think the only neutral country during WWII was Switzerland. Check out: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sweden_during_World_War_II if you want to see what I was referring to. I appreciate the name calling and the accurate reporting. Keep it up!!
Now on to more important things…like our new President.
TMZ has since apologized, and for the record, I’d like to point I never called Jessica Alba dumb. Everyone here knows I’m a bastion of journalistic research when I’m not making shit up. However, I will call Jessica Alba dumb now for referring to herself as “Jay_eh.” 4 Realz? That’s hella lame. Hella lame.
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January 28th, 2009
Former supermodel Janice Dickinson made faces for the paparazzi yesterday while getting a touch-up at MAC on Robertson Blvd. I don’t know what I’m more shocked by: Janice Dickinson’s death-like man-face, or that her make-up isn’t applied by a spray gun in an auto body shop. Which reminds me, you know what they should bring back? Veils. Just putting it out there.
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January 28th, 2009
The past week Lindsay Lohan has been just a line of coke away from becoming a real live Jack Skellington, but worry no more, folks. Her rep says Lindsay has eaten two full meals. At some point. Probably spaced days apart. Page Six reports:
Responding to rumors we heard that Lohan is “surviving on candy and Red Bull” and “completely stressed out” by her rocky relationship with Samantha Ronson, her flack in sisted she’s fine: “Lindsay is aware that she’s lost some weight due to stress, but we recently did a photo shoot and she ate two full meals.”
I’m sorry, but unless one of those meals was a Whopper the size of Reno, Lindsay’s going to need a tad bit more subsistence. Find out how much Jessica Simpson ate over the holidays, then go with about a fourth of that. Or maybe just an eighth, we don’t want to kill anybody.
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January 27th, 2009
Here’s a video of John Mayer giving himself a motivational pep talk that he made for TMZ. I don’t know if this is supposed to be funny, or convince me John Mayer eats human flesh. But nice Benjamin Button reference though. Because comparing yourself to Brad Pitt in a crazy meta online video is so the way to not make Jennifer Aniston’s vagina cry. Well played.
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January 27th, 2009
Shauna Sand continued her Miami vacation over the weekend, and the dude she’s with is ex-husband Romain Chavent. You know, the one she accused of punching her implants then taking nude photos of her kids. Surprise, she lied! On that note, if Shauna wants to get away with passing these off as candid pics, she should probably stop smiling for the camera. Or at all until they find a cure for whatever the hell happened to that hazy region above the boobs.
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January 26th, 2009
Here’s Jenna Jameson at the World Alliance of Mixed Martial Arts Championship this weekend demonstrating the worst possible ending to one of her movies. Then again, who’s actually seen the end of a porno? Just sayin’.NOTE: Yes, I’m aware the third pic is clearly fetus abuse and have notified child services. They said “Are you shitting me?” and promised to mobilize the Britney Task Force. Good people.
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January 26th, 2009
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