Posts filed under 'Celebrity Blog'
Since it’s Friday and there’s a serious celeb bikini drought going on, The Superficial is officially honoring the start of the NFL season by posting pics of the Lingerie Football League. After a week of intense political debate, I felt like we needed to come together as a nation. And I think we can all agree it doesn’t get more patriotic than chicks in lingerie tossing the ol’ pigskin. Unless, of course, Sarah Palin gave Uncle Sam a lap dance on top of the Liberty Bell then, honestly, you got me there.
View Original Post Here
September 5th, 2008
Lindsay Lohan has turned down a $700,000 offer to do an eight-page spread for Playboy. She doesn’t want to do the whole nude thing again because, clearly, she’s a terrorist. Someone had to say it. Page Six reports:
“If there’s nudity, then the answer’s no . . . She’s not going down the [New York] magazine road again,” Lohan’s rep told Playboy’s creative consultant, Hal Lifson, referring to Lindsay’s naked Marilyn Monroe tribute last winter. Lifson said he hoped to have Lohan do a tribute to ’60s sex kitten Ann-Margret and her film “Kitten With a Whip.”
I guess Lindsay is content with her freckle-laded Marilyn Monroe shoot and doesn’t want to look, I dunno, awesome and airbrushed. Why do you hate erections so much, Lindsay Lohan?! Oh, right, you’re a “lesbian” now. Ha ha ha! But, seriously, why do you hate them?
View Original Post Here
September 5th, 2008
It turns out Lynne Spears did not send Bristol Palin $60 pink burpcloths on behalf of Jamie Lynn. I don’t see why Lynne bothered denying the report because even a cynical bastard like myself thought it was a nice gesture. Until I remembered I have a penis then went around punching everyone within eyesight in the face. TOUGH GUY! E! News reports:
“I just got off the phone with Lynne. I can tell you that she hasn’t sent her any gifts, but that she does support Sarah and, of course, can empathize with their situation,” Curt Handling, Spears’ publicist at the Thomas Nelson publishing company, tells E! News.
It’s a damn shame. No fancy burpcloths for America’s favorite politically-polarizing pregnant teen. I guess Bristol Palin will have to wipe her baby’s spit the old fashioned way: With moose antlers or the hull of an oil tanker.
View Original Post Here
September 5th, 2008
Somehow these bikini pics of model Caroline D’Amore from a few days ago slipped completely under my radar. Of course, one has to ask themselves: Who the hell is Caroline D’Amore? After some deep soul-searching I realized she’s a chick in a bikini. Now I feel spiritually enlightened enough to spend the rest of the day playing GTA in my boxers. I like to believe it’s what Jesus would do if he a.) existed and b.) drank a bottle of cooking wine because he’s too lazy to go to the store. Go forth, my children, and tell others what you’ve learned here today.NOTE: Sweet Moses!
View Original Post Here
September 4th, 2008
Katie “Jordan” Price went to Ripley’s Believe it or Not museum last night wearing a see-through dress and what appear to be Granny panties. If that’s not erotic to you guys, then I need to stop huffing glue at my desk. Anyway, I also included shots of her new clothing line launch: KP Equestrian. I’m not even fazed by her outfit but I’m trying to figure out who the hell handed Katie Price money to design clothing for slutty equestrians? Frankly, I wasn’t aware there’s a large population of promiscuous female jockeys out there, but on that note, I need to see a man about a horse. I mean, a lady. A lady.
View Original Post Here
September 4th, 2008
Anne Hathaway was reportedly covering the $37,000/month rent for ex-boyfriend con-man Raffaello Follieri, according to the New York Post:
He wasn’t too ashamed to allegedly cadge thousands of dollars from his goo-goo-eyed girlfriend, Anne Hathaway. The “Get Smart” actress paid her beleaguered beau’s whopping $37,000 monthly rent at his sumptuous Olympic Tower duplex for four months until finally, in June, his lease ran out - and she ditched him as the feds closed in on his schemes
Damn. I wish I could trick women into paying my rent. Then again, I don’t own a Pope costume because I had no idea chicks were that big in role playing. I do, however, own a replica lightsaber, so on that note, Obi-Wan says “First of the month or it gets the hose, baby.”
View Original Post Here
September 4th, 2008
There’s been a lot of political tension these days: Red vs. Blue. Logic and reason vs. abstinence-only education. So, I felt it was time for some neutrality. And you can’t get more neutral than the Swiss which brings us to international supermodel Michelle Hunziker in a bikini whose butt is practically a beacon for world peace. It’s moments like this when I realize I should work for the U.N. I would solve shit!
View Original Post Here
September 3rd, 2008
Julia Roberts took her kids to Hawaii for the Labor Day weekend and also got her bikini on. What you can’t see in the background is terrified vacationers searching for pineapples to squeeze in their eyes. It was sort of like Pearl Harbor all over again - but with breasts.
View Original Post Here
September 3rd, 2008
Previous Posts
